Sometimes Sweet, Sometimes Sour... Always Pickledsilly
Monday, November 27, 2006
Asking For Help
This year the turkey, dressing, sweet potatoes casserole, green beans that I prepared were all much more satisfying than they have been in past years. The reason is, I asked for help. After years of sitting back and enjoying other people's talents in cooking, this year it was my turn. I was determined that if I humbled myself and watched a great cook, that I could do better than average for our family. This made me realize how important it is, the older we get, to stay humble and ask for help. The world moves so fast, so many new ideas, inventions and creative solutions. One thing remains a constant. The importance of humility and asking for help. Paying attention when you get it certainly helps as well... But humility goes first. Trust in teaching is also a key ingredient. The combination is life changing and... really yummy! Now I just need to find some one who makes beautiful cakes that taste as good as they look.
Our youngest will be away from home this holiday. He is out in California this week and then in Texas next week. He will get to spend some time with my brothers tomorrow.
Both my brothers are strikingly handsome men. Both my brothers have a son and one also has a daughter. All of their children are also very good looking, funny and smart. Their children are much younger than mine.
It is more like our sons are uncles instead of cousins when you look at their ages. At 23 Nick has seen more than I had by the time I was 33. I was in love with being a mom as a first priority from 21 to 34. A vacation for me was going to see family with family in tow.
My world view up to age 34 was very sheltered. I really had no understanding of how painful some people's lives were.
I have a great deal of respect for my brothers. I also like the man Nick is becoming. He has such high aspirations. He has the talent to reach them.
I am hoping that Nick will learn things on this trip that will help him on his journey. Things a mother can not teach. Things maybe an older uncle will understand. You don't leave behind your work, responsibilites and lessons when you travel. But I have found some distance coupled with wisdom from family will help you grow. His journey is not about me, it is his alone to grow in. My journey is to get better at stepping back and watching him go.
One last thought. Stretch marks.
Scars Reminders of a time where your child inside of you, grew, kicked, swam and slept. Your body stretched, making room for your child to grow. Beautiful traces of another time when your child grew without permission.
Internally, as your childern move away there are new stretch marks. You let them go but your love stretches. Making room for you to become more nurturing, more patient, less selfish.
The first year I was without our sons on Christmas, I made a decision to go spend the day at a Nursing Home. I knew if I was not busy, I would have a hard time focusing on what I had rather than what was not with me. Micheal and I had a blast visiting with people time had forgotten.
As I think ahead to this holiday, we will have so much to be thankful for. I know myself, I will still have to stay busy. I think I know where I may be again this year.
This time of year we seem to get asked for so many things. So many people out there with less. We hopefully catch the holiday spirit and we dig down and find money, time and smiles. Here in Tennessee we are called the Volunteer State. Such a high mission with so many rewards.
As I think about sparing change, I also think about how helping others changes us.
Our hearts grow. Great memories are made. Hope for better things abound.
So...Can you spare some change? The transformation will be amazing.
Ok, many of you are too young to remember this commercial. It was very effective in getting your attention. As they say, sex sells.
I once heard a sales rep call a school and the gentleman who was on the other line asked "What are you selling?" The sales rep immediately replied "What are you buying?"
Although sex does sell, what we like to buy is confidence. There is nothing more attractive than someone who believes in themselves. I am not talking about pride or ego, just good ole American Confidence.
Wouldn't you like to be known as someone people believe when you make a promise with a handshake, who honors what you say, who never over promises and who always delivers, yep very attractive.
No excuses No pretense
Makes you wonder why we are not all like this and if we are some of the time, why not all the time...
We allow ourselves to get gunked up. We lose our passion. We look at the world through glasses filtered with insecurity glazed with unforgiveness.
What should we do?
TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT ALL OFF!
Show the world how really attractive you can be without the gunk.
Yep, sex sells... But what we buy, love to be around and what we count on is confidence.
How do we get lasting confidence?
Sounds simple...
Spend quiet time with the most confident entity there is.
Some days you can not help but smile. Some days you have to really look hard for a reason to smile. Most days we are spoiled. We expect life to be there for us rather than us being there making things happen. We have to fight our whiney natures.
Here are some things that are easy to do that will always help bring a smile: Speak looking up. You almost have to smile. Chinese fire drill at lunch. Hard to do that without smiling. If you are lucky enough to still have one or more parents, call them and tell them you love them. Write a love note to your spouse. Fold it up like you used to back in Junior High. Slip it in somewhere that they will not notice it right away. Wait...imagine their smile...Enjoy their unexpected reaction. Do something "just because" for you co-workers. Food, funny notes, happy voice mails...all good. If your kids are grown, look at their baby pictures. If your kids are babies, look at your baby pictures. Call your parents again. Count your blessings. I mean really count them. You will likely find more things right in your life the more you look for them. And last but not least, get creative. Journal, doodle, paint, sculpt. Throw yourself into the moment Either alone or with a friend...you will enjoy finding new aspects of yourself in your creations.
I am have been blessed with a sweet, talented, sexy husband. We have two sons that will leave a dynamic mark on the world.
We have between us four sisters and four brothers who have given us four nephews and five nieces.
We love spontanious times together, creative times filled with new concepts and most of all being there for our families when we can.
