Sunday, October 29, 2006

Get out of the way

Ouch. It is a hard lesson to learn.
Sometimes the best thing we can do to help someone else is to get out of the way.

This can be true in teaching roles, and it is definately true when you look at the relationships you have with your adult children.

You have to let them make their own decisions.

You have to try to not argue or lecture when you do not agree with their decisions.

Even when they ask you for advice you have to be careful to not sound condesending.

In short, you have to relate to them as if they were not your kids, you relate to them as you would hope any nice, wise caring person would relate to you.

You can not make up for all the mistakes you made when your parents were trying to get you to listen.

My Dad's best advice was to pick my battles when our kids were teenagers.

I am sure I missed the big picture and did not always do this.

You can not go back and wipe away the pain you caused them because you, just like them were just doing your best to figure things out.

You have to still be there for them when they need you, but you can not protect them.

Ohhh, but you want to.

What is most amazing about parenting is how your love for your children only continues to grow.

They need you less and you love them more.

So hard to pull back and let them go be their own men.

So important to get out of the way and let them find their own way to shine.


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