Wherever You Go

Passion

2009-02-13T12:33:00.000-08:00

I have been surrounded by the most wonderful sense of love today.
My sweet husband sent me a dozen red roses.
The roses are the perfect reflection of how wonderful my husband is.

I am more thankful each day for him and our marriage.

It is with great pleasure that I can say that although things are so good for us, I believe that things will also get better.

My sweet husband has a wonderful expectation that we can always improve.

It is encouraging to know that each year we have been together, we have only gotten better.

I love you babe!

Dealing With Fear

2009-02-11T09:55:00.000-08:00

I had a conversation this morning with a friend who is losing sleep over the economy.
She is afraid of being homeless.
She is also afraid that our lives as Americans are going to change so radically as to be painful.

It is possible things could get that bad. We should take nothing for granted.

Personally, I am concerned about our elderly that are trying to make it on fixed incomes. We do not take care of our older relatives like we used to and yet we expect someone is going to take care of us.

I believe we are going to learn some amazing things as Americans. Things our grandparents took for granted that we would remember.

Those in public office are being challenged to draw on the good in them, put aside the power struggles and make the best decisions they can. Will they all, probably not. Those that do will be better for it.

I read an excellent quote from Thomas J. Watson Jr. Thomas was CEO at IBM from 56-71.

"Any organization, in order to survive and achieve success, must have a sound set of beliefs on which it premises all it policies and actions. I believe the most important single factor in corporate success is the faithful adherence to those beliefs. Finally, the organization must be prepared to change everything about itself except those beliefs."

As a person or as a nation, we will have to change to survive. Where we draw the line on what our core beliefs are, what we act on despite our fears, determines our destiny.

Falling in Love With Color

2008-11-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

It has been the most beautiful fall. I once read an article on what is needed for a great display of fall colors. A systematic chain of events occurs to help nature show off its diversity and reaction to change.

We, as mere mortals... for the most part, have no control over the events needed to give us this reminder of how glorious our world is.

I am sure the going green people would throw in some things we can do to help protect our trees.

I am sure some scientists who believe we will control weather at some point could offer their suggestions as well.

But for the most part, we are more watchers than does when it comes to this celebration.

If a couple more days, we will get to see a different display of style and color.

More masculine perhaps…we get to see the strong structure of trees without the trappings of color. We get more of a black and white view of the nature of trees.

In the last couple weeks, we have added trees to the land that surrounds our home.

This winter, on the surface, it will look like our new trees are not growing. The only visiable movement may be our trees will get blown around.

I hear this is a good thing.

The shaking loosens the soil near them and helps them put down stronger roots. I would guess most people who plant things know all this. When I think about growing things, I remember the steps.

Come spring, our trees' ability to reach new growth levels, will be in part tempored by how deep their roots have gone.

Trees it would seem....have the most innate knowledge of what they need and an understanding of the cycles and seasons.

The more I think about trees, the nature of the world and our nature, it does make me appreciate that God is truly in the details. And as this season of my life moves into the next, I need to remember I am always growing something.

Hopefully, that something is more than just older.

Wherever you go....there you are.

2008-08-29T14:13:00.000-07:00

But what do you see when you look at where you are?

Are you at the top of your life looking down?

Are you at the bottom of your life looking up?

Or- is your vision of the world a bridge to both?

Life is Tremendous

2008-08-18T07:31:00.000-07:00

The next book I will read will be by Charlie "Tremendous" Jones.

Here are just a few nuggets of wisdom that are tempting me to pick up this book:

You will be the same five years from now as you are today, except for two things: the people you meet, and the books you read.

Learn to be saying something positive all the time.

The first law of leadership is learning to get excited about your work.

There are three critical decisions in life: what you are going to live your life in, who you are going to live it with, and who you are going to live it for –

A time to remember

2008-08-14T13:18:00.001-07:00

I am thankful to see and hear from some friends that you have been watching for updates here.

I have waited to change this blog for two reasons. First, I really believe in the message of the last blog and we can not get that kind of wisdom too often. Second, the words for what to say next just would not come.

Well, that is not entirely true. They came. They were powerful for those who needed them. My delivery, may not have been the best delivery of the words you are about to read. The words below were from my part of my paying respect to my sweet father.

I thought about asking Dad how he would like to be remembered. Some of my friends had asked their parents that question. I decided against asking that question for two reasons. First, I did not want Dad to think he should give up. Second, the question I believe would have been the better question would have been; “What should we all remember?”

Dad would have rather spent time expounding on that question rather than talking about himself.

As so, here is my humble attempt to share some things Dad would want us to remember.

From a very early age, I knew that I should only invite a friend over to the house if they would respect our home and our parents. I knew it was important to pick good friends.

In our early teens, we all got the “Drive”. We all were taken on a drive to an area where the families seemed to be less fortunate than we were. We were taken down two different streets of homes both built at the same time. One street was well-maintained and one was in pretty bad shape. On the drive we all learned two things. Take care of what you have and stay thankful.

My senior year in high school I was asked to represent our school at Glidden Durkee. They were starting a science “think tank” of ten local high school students from ten different high schools.

Dad was so proud of me. He thought this would be a great opportunity. I might get a scholarship. I would learn interesting things and meet new people. Dad told everyone in Rotary, everyone he played golf with, everyone he played bridge with and everyone he worked with about my being chosen for this great honor.

After a few weeks of participating in the “think tank”, I knew that although I loved science, I was probably not going to become a Chemical Engineer. We worked in the lab for 5 hours at a time and it was very quiet. The thought of eight or more hours a day in silence, did not sound like something I wanted to do. We were a family of talkers and somewhere in me I knew that whatever I did with my life, being quiet was not going to be a strong part of it.

It hurt to think about telling Dad. I knew he was going to be disappointed. When I told Dad, he asked why I thought this career choice would not work. I gave him my reasons. Although you could see he was disappointed, he never said so. He instead said, “I have always told you kids that I do not care what you do for a living, but I expect you to be good citizens. I expect you to give back more than you take from this world.”

In my 20’s I did not ask for a lot of advice. Big mistake.

Consequently, in my 30’s life became a teacher of humility.
It was in my 30’s that Dad began to give me my best advice.

Dad’s wisdom on how to handle heartbreak, take long walks. Moving large muscles increases your endorphin levels and sitting around thinking about it is never going to help.

Although he did not tell me this, I imitated his love of gardening. There is something about growing things that helps you see beyond today.

Dad’s wisdom on parenting teenagers was to pick your battles. Remember that your children need to push against you and share their ideas. This will help them later in life.

In my 40’s, Dad gave me great wisdom on parenting kids in their 20’s. He said we should remember that people can change their lives. Everyone is motivated by something. Find what motivates them and you can help them change.

Then he went on to tell me something that really surprised me. At 26, Dad did not have a lot of self-confidence. In fact, one night he took a look at his life and decided that if he kept making the decisions he was making that he would end up a loser.

Let me assure you that Dad was quick to let me know that he had not done anything morally wrong and he had always worked hard. He just did not feel successful.

So, I asked Dad what he did. He said that he went home from work that night and wrote down all his decisions and what he thought were the consequences of those decisions. Then he wrote down all of his parents’ decisions and what he thought were the consequences of those decisions.

Then he wrote his list on what he wanted to change in his life. After that night, he said things began to get better.

Dad believed we could all do the same thing.

In this last year Dad gave me some lessons on love.

Micheal and I were staying with him a year ago. On the second day of the visit, Dad told me he thought it was good that Micheal and I were still holding hands. He was encouraged by this. It is good to be affectionate with one another.

He went on to say that he had made a decision to change something about himself. He was telling me about this decision because he did not want me to think he was making this change just because he was getting old or because he was losing it.

I said, “Ok Dad. What do you think you need to change?”

Dad said that he had been talking with a friend who was encouraging him to tell his children that he loved them more often.

Dad went on to tell me why he thought he was not good at this.

I told Dad, “It is ok. I know you love me. We all know you love us.”

Dad said. “No, Linda. It is not ok. I have made up my mind that this is something I am going to change. Whenever you call, before you hang up, you always say I love you. From now on, I am going to say it back. Who knows, I may even get so good at this, that I start to say it first.”

For the last year, the last thing I said to Dad before we said good bye was “I Love You”.

Dad always said it back and sometimes he even said it first.

Dad at 78 was still giving more than he took…still giving great lessons.
Pick Good Friends
Stay Thankful
Be Good Citizens
Pick Your Battles
Be Affectionate
Say I Love You

And we should never miss an opportunity to encourage someone as people can change their lives at any age.

We all loved you Dad and we know you loved us back.

S.O.B

2008-06-16T11:57:00.000-07:00

We heard a sermon yesterday that was worth sharing.
It was a Father's Day message.
Our pastor stressed the importance of staying.
Honoring your promises.
Not staying for the kids, but staying because you told God you would.
Obey
Obey his word. Do the right thing.
Believe. Stand on his promises.
Such simple wisdom.
Stay, Obey, Believe.
Even if you think it may be too late.
Even if you think the grass may be greener.
That the pressure you are feeling would be released if you walk away.
Stay, Obey and Believe.

For all who are reading this now.

If you are thinking about giving up,
please do not.

Know that Micheal and I are praying for you and we do not believe it is too late.

Time To Take It Up A Notch

2008-05-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

As we get older it can be sadly normal to have to loosen our belts, as we add more girth to our silhouette.

It has been that kind of spring for me.

There have been a few winters where I have been tempted to put on a few extra pounds, but this year, that temptation blossomed into spring and here I sit in my new demi-rubenesque physique.

And yet, I am smiling. I do look forward to firming up some things in my life, but…there are so many good things happening right now that it may take me some time to get back to the 7 times in 14 day work out schedule.

Why am I smiling? Well the list could go on and on. I smile more, because I am choosing to remember to smile.

Yes, Micheal is the love of my life.
Yes, our sons are becoming great men.
Yes, work is interesting and exciting.
Yes, we have moved into a beautiful home.
Yes, we have wonderful friends.
Yes! God is good.

I read something today that made me want to blog again. It simply summed up where I am.

It would have been easy to walk away from some of the things that later became great Yes’s in my life. In spite of my fears, I did not.

Going forward, I would like to get better at taking grand leaps.

The suggested self-talk below is great for times where we might be tempted to chicken out:

Can you imagine this thing happening? YES!

Would you imagine it happening? YES!

Are you ready for it? YES!

When? NOW!

How awesome does this feel? WOOOOHOOOOOOO! (feel free to jump up and down and get super excited)

I tried it the minute I read it.

No telling how many more Yes’s! we will have in our lives if we all apply these simple steps.

Got A Minute?

2008-04-01T06:13:00.000-07:00

For people who struggle with focus, life can seem so random.
For people who can see everything, life can seem so connected.
For people who are able to focus on one thing and shut everything else out, life can seem to be passing them by.

Do you fit into one of these three descriptions? Are you easily distracted when faced with a project?

Do you see so much that every option you consider has infinite possibilities of other options to consider? Does this make it harder for you to make decisions or have you mastered jumping in and figuring it out?

If you are a person of high focus, do you miss the little things that are outside of your vision? Are you so focused, you miss the big things like friends and people who need you?

If your ability to focus were a body building type, would you be as developed in your legs as your upper body? Or would you be like most young body builders, huge chest, neck, back and arms, tight abs and legs that a small girl could kick out from under you?

What if our minds were able to change their viewing ability just because we asked them to?

We give the commands to our minds...”Look at the big picture”... or “Look at what they are not saying” or... “Notice who needs the most help”…or “Remember to Take a Minute”….

Why remember to take a minute? Really, that is all we know we have in life, a series of minutes that ad up. If we don’t take the minute, it will happen anyway and we will miss its importance.

What will happen if we take the minute?

The people who like to calculate infinite possibilities would have a lot to say about that.

What can you really do in a minute? Ask a busy person and they will tell you many things.

Ask a person who is struggling with their life’s focus and they may have no answers.

I have not blogged in a while. Partly because, I thought I was too busy. Partly because, I have been struggling to stay focused on what matters most.

My sweet sexy husband and I are so good. Our sons are learning who they will become.
But, my Dad’s health has not been good and now my sister also has cancer. I hurt for them.

There are times in your life where you make choices that change forever the direction you are going. There are times in your life where you keep going in the same direction, but you carry less with you and enjoy the journey more.

I changed something today. There has only been one other time in my life where I was able to change something in just a minute. It took conviction the first time and some supernatural help. Only because I can look back on 35 years of knowing I was changed, do I see how different life is going to be after today’s change.

Some of you may be wondering what could happen in just a minute to me.

That is really not as important as what do you want to change and are you ready to give a minute to do that?

I believe if you are convicted and the timing is right, you can.

Last one to leave

2008-02-29T10:11:00.000-08:00

The phrase “ Last one to leave, please turn the lights out on your way out,” made me smile today.

I have been under the weather this week. I “sounda' like a man”.

My husband says he likes the new husky voice and is hoping it stays that way.

Most of the people I work with are also losing their voices as the crud makes its way through our department.

I know we are all thankful it is Friday and we are hoping that the weekend will bring us a break from each other, work and the stress of life.

I can say from looking at everyone around me, that we are all ready to leave.

For some reason as I thought about whoever would be the last one out shutting the lights off, I thought about the other end of the spectrum.

I thought about how tiring it must be to the first one in turning the lights on.

Or even tougher, people who are always expected to be a source of light.

I know that we need our dark times. We need to rest and go without any light.

But at work, it is nice to come in and the energy is already up and positive.

I almost wish we had a way to think in terms of …

“Last one out, leave the lights on.”

This might stop us from coming in on Monday morning and feeling like we are in the dark.

In the meantime, “this little light of mine…”

Looking For Mr. Right

2008-02-11T12:13:00.000-08:00

What is the difference between Mr.Right

And Mr. Right now?

Over the years I have heard many women wishing for Mr. Right.

Sometimes if a friend had been hurt in a relationship, she may be looking for Mr. Right now.

Sometimes I had friends that knew they were in the role of Mistress Right Now, but hey, they just wanted some fun.

Many of these women are now in their 40’s or older.
They are hungry for Mr. Right.
The clocks are ticking.
Where is he?

I do not know much about dating.
I really have no business saying what I am about to say. But, hey, since when does that stop me.

Before you find Mr. Right, or better yet, before he finds you, you have to stop looking.

You have to become content with knowing you are Mrs. Right.

A strong woman who can take care of herself, but wants to share herself, her real self with a good man.

That does not mean we do not need love or want love.

It does mean we have got to fix whatever is in us that needs fixing, so that when that good man finds us, he gets a great partner in life.

Although we will not be perfect when he finds us…
Although we will grow from working through our relationship together…
We still should aspire to be as strong as we can be before he finds us.

So to all the women who are looking for Mr. Right and thinking you may only get Mr. Right now.

Get to work. You have it in you to be the best thing that ever happened to the right man, the good man, who will notice you for what is important.

And…once you have that good man…never take him for granted.
Well, now that I thnk about it. Since my Mr. Right found me...
I do have some ideas on how to let the perfect man find all the love you have for him.

Life is not always a bed of clovers…..

2008-01-28T05:32:00.000-08:00

If you could go back, would you?

We ventured out with our friend Tiny to see Cloverfield yesterday.
Since some of you may not have seen the movie yet, I will only touch on one aspect of the plot.
Going back for someone.
The movie left us asking who we would go back for at the risk of our own lives, if anyone.
Or would we run to safety, every man or woman for ourselves.

It is hard for me to imagine being a hero when faced with the sudden introduction of a life-threatening experience.
If I were in the military, or FBI or other form of position where when you sign on you know you may be asked to be a hero, then maybe....
For people who do this for a living, it seems easier to imagine they would be able to more easily goback for someone.

But for the every day person, who without preparation is faced with a life and death decision it is more likely they would run.

The only thing that may stop them if they are able to think, would be…
Could you live with yourself knowing you might have saved someone but only thought of themselves or
Would you rather die trying?

Is there anyone in this world you love enough to die for?

Is your love of life or yourself always first?

If you have not found someone you would die for, are you missing something?

Really tough questions….

These are questions most people would not want to answer honestly in front of the people in their lives they say they love.

The new TV show “Moment of Truth”, is basing its back account on our desire to find out the deepest darkest secrets in other people’s lives.

The show is paying people to hurt people they care about with the truth.

Unless they are able to find someone who is so pure of mind and actions, the show will let us see one disappointing example after another of what we are really capable of.

I would not go on the show. I don’t think I would ever be desperate enough to hurt people I care about in front of the entire world for profit.

So as you are reading this, you are probably wondering if I believe I love someone enough to go back for them.

I think I do and would. I think I would try.

I have only been in one life-threatening situation where a gun was pointed at me and you knew it was a life and death moment.

I can still smell the energy of danger when I think back on that day.

You become a different person when faced with death.

It is surprising what that brings out in you.

I will not spoil the ending of Cloverfield for you.

I will leave you with this question though.

Is there anyone you love enough to go back for?

The Apprentice- Can't We Just KISS and Make Up?

2008-01-18T06:32:00.000-08:00

I have to say that I do not like the image that Donald Trump portrays but at the same time I am thankful he does what he does.

Donald, through his show “The Apprentice” gives us a contrived glimpse into human psychology as well as what makes American businesses work.

I really don’t have a problem with Reality TV.

I know it is a step above “Professional Wrestling”.

Since I know that much of what is shown on “The Apprentice” has been well-thought out for what makes people watch Reality TV, I don’t expect it to be a totally honest view.

At the same time, there are elements of the show that do remind us of what people are capable of.

One of the things my husband excels in is understanding the nature of people.

Most of the time he also is very good with attracting people and building relationships,
unless he does not want to.

With a look and a raised eye brow he can shut down the most arrogant of individuals.

Enter Gene Simmons.

I have got to say that I totally respect that Gene likes being independent. He knows that his success is in large part from believing in himself even when no one else does.
He is like an old lion that needs to still know he can and will roar when needed and eat you alive if you get in his way.

Gene Simmons got fired on the show last night. Mostly because Gene really believed in his idea and did not care if the customer, in this case Kodak, was happy with his idea.

Gene believed he was right. End of story.

What I liked most about Gene was that he knew he would be fired and he did not care.
He was not going to point the finger at anyone else or play the game of defending his right to stay on the show. He had an idea that he believed in and it was all or nothing.

Passion…Without it...creative visionaries perish.

Gene would rather leave with his passion than become a politician and compromise his beliefs.

Passion no matter what is not a great thing but, since Gene was not passionate about being evil, I kind of admire his decision.

Life is too short to live without passion.

It is important to be coachable and humble, not strengths of Gene, but those things alone without passion and not as interesting as what we saw last night.

I have got to take my hat off to Donald. I don’t know you and don’t think I would like everything about you if I met you. You likely would not be impressed with me.

However, you made me watch...I learned some things...
and I was most highly entertained!.

New Neighbors

2008-01-11T13:30:00.000-08:00

We are expecting that the house next to ours will be filled with new neighbors any day now.
We are trying to be optimistic about this.
After all, the odds are catching up with us that our new neighbors will be fun, easy to get along with and potentially even friends.

How may times can different people move in next to you who are not fun, easy to get along with and friend challenged?
We have got to believe that these new neighbors will not shoot bottle rockets onto our new roof.
They will not drive across our grass to part their cars because they did not want to ask their kids to move their cars out of the way.
They will not have cats that sleep on our cars and scratch the paint.
The wife will not hit on the teenage boys in the neighborhood.
The husband will not try to sell you a $1200 vacuum and then get mad when you don’t want to buy it.

I could go on.

The tough part here is that we really don’t think we are better than other people.
We don’t think we are the perfect people.
We know we are kinda weird in our own way.

I think we are nice people.

I hope the new neighbors will at least be nice.

3 out of 3 of our last few neighbors have really had some major things going on.

Hopefully, even if these new people are going through some stuff, they will be easy to get along with.

I feel like flying

2008-01-04T09:53:00.000-08:00

I am sure all of us have had dreams that we were flying.
Some of us were caught up in a peaceful supernatural experience where
we had the ability to fly.
Some of us were able to enjoy the sensations that come to those who can fly.
Some of us, are not able to relax because although the flying part was fun, the fear
of falling and not being able to land safely took away from the moment.

So, we may be tempted to stop the dream of flying because of fear of harm.
We somehow can imagine flying, but can’t imagine controlling that ability.

Sadly, we do this same thing in so many ways in other parts of our lives.
We don’t love with abandon because we might get hurt.
We don’t try new classes because we might like what we are learning and then what?
We might have to spend more time or money on something that is not a part of our current life plan.

It sounds so simple to think if I can imagine flying I will of course imagine a way to land safely.

After all, I am not into pain.

So why not imagine all things are possible and only for good.

If I can imagine loving with passion, why not imagine that the pleasure will outweigh all pain. In fact, why imagine there will be any pain?

I got my husband a flying lesson for his birthday. My dad who I admire greatly said to me, “You know, he might like this. He might want to keep taking flying lessons.”

To which, I said, “Sounds like a good thing in a gift. That he will like it so much he will want to do it again. After all I trust my husband. If he wants to do something, he will figure out a way.”

So, today….I feel like flying!

No- I am not taking a flying lesson myself.

I want to feel like I can imagine flying and safely landing in every new thing that comes my way.

It is a very powerful commodity, hope.

Why not hope…and of course only hope for good things.

The only thing that you can not get back is wasted time

2007-12-19T17:26:00.000-08:00

I heard someone this week make this comment.

I guess it is this time of year, where we reflect on the past and plan for the future that made that comment stick in my head.

It really has got me thinking about what is a waste of time.

The only thing that I would say is really a waste of time for me, is time spent worrying.

I can’t say the mistakes I have made were a waste of time, because almost always I learned something from them.

I can’t say that the time I spent relaxing is a waste of time, because for the most part, I work more than I should.

The only thing that I truly know I waste time on is the time I spend worrying.

As a mother, I find it hard to ever really believe that I am doing well if our kids are not doing well.
A part of my brain is focused on what else I can do to help, and the older our kids get, the more I understand that prayers are really my best option.

As an employee, if I am not ahead on a project, a part of my brain is working on how I can get there.

I am thankful that I do not worry about my husband, as he is a source of strength for me.

If speaking a promise to oneself will make one change, then here is what I would tell myself.

Stop wasting time worrying.
You can not get this time back.
Celebrate everything that happens.
Remember that no one can take something from you that God intends for you to have.

Be at peace in all things.
Be a source of joy to all who meet you.

In 2008, I hope to never waste time worrying.

Happy Birthday to You!

2007-12-13T05:41:00.000-08:00

Today is my wonderful husband's birthday. He is 41 years today.
In honor of his birthday, I thought I would give just a few of the reasons why I love him so much. For those of you who know him, I am sure you will have many more reasons to list as well.

Happy Birthday Babe!

41. Great Legs
40. The look he gets on his face when he eats a Gummy Bear
39. Where he grew up
38. How he treats the people who helped him grow up
37. His sautéed mushrooms
36. His ability to get me to try mushrooms when I was convinced I did not like them
35. Who he was at 35 when he asked me to marry him.
34. His signs that he painted in his hometown 24 years ago that he is still known for
33. His acts of honesty 35 years ago that his grade school teachers still remember
32. His ability to keep a friend like Tiny through thick and thin.
31. His love of vacuuming
30. The look on his face when he irons
29. His ability to copy all my best dance moves
28. His ability to dance like no one is watching
27. His expectation that everyone will be
26. Who he was at 26 when I first met him
25. His patience for our sons now 25 and 26
24. The 24 moths he asked me out before I said yes
23. His believe that I never stood a chance of not saying yes
22. How he decorated my desk on my birthdays
21. The look on his face when he played the slot machine in Tunica
20. How he slices a piece of steak
19. How he savors every bite
18. How well he knows himself
17. How well he understands others
16. His strong arms
15. How his hand reaches for mine even though he never liked holding hands
14. The way he sings the "Roouh, Roouh, Rouuh" Song first sung by his Great Grandfather
13. That he was born on a day that people think is unlucky
12. That nearly everyone who meets him thinks they are lucky to have had the chance
11. His pancakes
10. His willingness to eat any of my cooking after eating my pancakes
9. The way he looks when he plays with our nieces and nephews
8. The way he looks when he gives advice to his brothers and sisters
7. His friendship with the Ya-Ya’s
6. How he helps everyone he works with
5. How he always makes me look good
4. How much he loves his Dad and mine
3. How much he loves our sons
2. How he looks at me
1. How he remembers to pray

Looking forward to seeing your face when you take your flying lesson tomorrow!

Love you honey

The Unlikely Hiro

2007-11-27T09:56:00.000-08:00

Hiro is simply adorable. His child-like belief that he can save the world has helped make "Heroes" worth watching.

Hiro is my favorite Hero.

His character became even more interesting after we got a glimpse of one version of who Hiro may become.

The more one watches Heroes the more you see that no one's future or past is set in stone.

The ability to time travel changes all that.

In fact, if we had this ability I would think History, might not be taught as often in school as Contingency Thinking.

Since nothing in the past or the future is certain in this world, how you handle what you see now, when you choose to back or forward to correct or adjust your desired life is all contingent on what critical thinking skills you use now.

Even though I have limited ability to physically time travel, I believe that Contingency Thinking is still a skill that may be needed with our youth.

The ability to really think things through, weigh the costs and benefits of decisions may be as important as studying others lives in a History format.

I remember being asked just before my 10 year reunion to fill out a survey.
One of the questions was:
"What would you do if you could go back 10 years?"

My answer at the time:
"Jump ahead 10 years."

I think if I were to answer that question now I would have to say I would also write a letter to myself on all the things I have learned and then, I would still probably tear the letter up and jump ahead 10 years.

The me of today is still not wise enough to be able to write that powerful of a letter to the me of yesterday.

Maybe if I jump ahead 10 years, I could get some help on that one.

Meanwhile, my husband remains my number one Hero.
My Dad is right there with him.
Our sons show promise of being world changers as well.

Yep- Now is a good place to be.

So Much To Say Grace Over

2007-11-26T11:00:00.000-08:00

Looking back on other Thanksgivings and holidays in general,
I have learned that holidays can bring out the best and the worst in people.

For this moment, let’s focus on the best.
I heard a friend tell me how 40 people fed 400 in the streets of Puerto Rico.

I watched on the news as many here in Nashville dropped off hundreds of turkeys and other
food items to shelters.

I saw on the news that more people were out shopping this holiday.
They spent less this year as they hunted for bargains.

I saw no reports of people fighting while in line on Black Friday.

We had 14 sit down at our house.

All were well.

Everyone was kind to one another.

I missed the other 18 or so people who I would have loved to have seen in our home this holiday.

It rained and rained. So needed here in TN.

We built a fire and snuggled against the chill after all our family and friends headed home.

So much to say grace over.

We are blessed indeed.

I Love YOU

2007-11-08T07:46:00.000-08:00

My Dad always did things to show he loved us.
He was home in time for dinner every night.
He was a scout leader for my brothers.
He was active in Rotary and insisted we get out there in the community to help others.
He lectured.
He would watch TV with us if it was PBS.
He stayed up all night building my play kitchen.
He still loved me after I said I wanted the truck my brother had gotten.
He still loved me after I got him a pink stuffed elephant that year.
In our toughest years when money was tight and in later years when we had more than enough…
He still loved us the same.
He tried to teach me to golf.
After 33 whiffs on the 2nd Hole at 6:30 AM, he nicely said,
“I bet the 3rd hole will be better”
When I came home with a Tuba and said I wanted to march, he still loved me.
It did not matter that he had been paying $10 a week for Flute lessons for 5 years.
Was Dad perfect, I don’t remember him being less than excellent.
Perfect is for God after all.
Last week we went to go see Dad.
He quietly brought up “I Love You”.
He did not know why he had a hard time saying it.
He knows that when I have said it over the years, he could have said it back.
He does love me.
He said he did not want me to worry if he started to say, “I Love You”.
He was not losing it. It did not mean there was anything more wrong than what we already are fighting.
He had a friend tell him it would be good if he tried to say it.
So, when we left him on Sunday he said it first.
I Love You.
I know Dad. I know.
The words are good. His desire to change this late in life is good.
The way he raised me. The way he showed me he loved me.
Excellent
I love you too Dad.

No Left Turns

2007-11-05T06:01:00.000-08:00

My wonderful sister in law sent me this. As I read this, I was so touched by the love story. I was also humbled by the wisdom and the ability to know who you are and live well within that reality.

This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed.

My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car.

He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."

At which point my mother said. "He hit a horse."

"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbor s all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines, would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.

But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one." It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us wouldturn 16 first.

But, sure enough , my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.

It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother.

So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father' s idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying more than once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage.

(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he wou ld wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.

If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile wal k and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"

"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

"No left turns," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.

As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."

"What?" I said again.

"No left turns," he said. "Think about it. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."

"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support "No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works." But then she added: "Except when your father loses count."

I was dri ving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.

"Loses count?" I asked.

"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."

I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.

"No," he said " If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90.

She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.

They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.

A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live
much longer."

"You're probably right," I said.

"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.

"Because you're 102 years old," I said.

"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day. That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.

He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said:

"I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet"

An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:

"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have."

A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.

I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life, Or because he quit taking left turns. "

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about those who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it."

Never More

2007-10-26T16:35:00.000-07:00

I have waited once again to blog this week.
This time I waited on the words.
Wanting perfection in my response.
Wanting to craft a love letter so repleat with images that the words would not leave the reader alone.
I design this love letter with words alone.
No images to convey what my mind may be to weak to convey.
Never More
These two simple words have softened each look as I watched you sleep last night.
Never More
Echoed in our steps as we walked hand in hand window shopping last weekend.
Never More
Strengthened me as you comforted my father in his pain.
Never More
Was a call to arms even as I fell under the drugs given before the cancer tests.
Never More
A sweet wisp of thankfullness, as I listened to those who are now alone longing for someone.
Never
Have I
Loved
You
More

My sweet Dark Knight
You did in fact rescue me from all those who would say love is not for me.
Never More

Stranger Than Fiction

2007-10-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

We have watched more than a few bad movies.

“Stranger Than Fiction” was not one of them.

There were so many great things about this movie.

I have waited to blog on the movie.

This was an exercise in finding the one thing that keeps haunting me about the movie.

A sign for me that I have been changed by a work of art, literature, music or even a movie is that there is something, weeks later that still haunts me.

For me, for this movie it would be the line, “Little Did He Know”.

The entire movie is really spun off this concept that there was something Howard Crick did not know.

In case you have not seen the movie, I will leave all other details out and focus on why this haunts me.

It haunts me first because the author was a genius.

I envy the discipline to create literature, true lasting haunting literature.

It haunts me further because we intrinsically know, but ignore how little we know.

We choose how much we let in, how much we want to see of real life.

We carry on as characters in our own fabrications of our lives.

Until we are suddenly interrupted with real life, then we are forced to raise our eyes to how little we know.

If you combined the delicate narration in “Stranger Than Fiction” with the ability to hear in “What Women Want”, in our own lives we would likely be tempted to never leave the couch.

There is in fact so much good in people, but our thought world, that is our battleground, one that most people have not mastered.

So when you hear others thoughts, many of them will be framed in a state of struggle and therefore negative.

So where is all this going?

This is real life.
If living it as a character in your own fiction works for you, and you know that you do not control everything but enjoy this illusion, that is your real life.

If you are able to tune out the negativity of others, not care about what the toxic people around you are thinking but care more for what you think about who you are, not a bad thing.

Of course all of this will read very strange if you have not yet watched the movie.

I guess that is the way life goes, stranger than fiction.

Without A Trace

2007-10-11T06:03:00.000-07:00

From "One Hot Momma" to "I Keep On Trying",
Trace delivered.

My wonderful husband found a way for us to be extra’s at a taping for a December 1 Trace Atkins' special for GAC last night.

We had center stage positions about 10 feet away from Trace.

We shook our Badonkey Donks.....
Laughed both on command from our director Bill...and spontaneously.

Snuggled to slow songs, and held hands like the groovy old couple we are growing to be.

It was a night to remember.
Tiny! You were missed and should have been there.

That Moment

2007-10-08T07:46:00.000-07:00

That Moment
That Sweet Peace-Filled Moment

It is a twinkle in time.
The glimmer of morning in the closing eye of night.

That Moment
We want to anchor in its fluid movement.

That Moment
Cast between Yesterday’s Should Haves and Today’s Have To’s

That Moment
The perfect spoon coupled together, held softly by the palm of God

I awoke to a take your breath away awareness of
That Moment

I stirred under a spirit body connection that drew new energy into
That Moment

I determined to remember and value
That Moment

To let it change me, should that be its course
Not just for That Moment

What A Wonderful World

2007-10-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful drive in this morning.
As I drove, I found myself dreaming about what is ahead and at the same time hugging onto some memories I carry with me.
We attended another funeral this weekend.
We lost Micheal’s Uncle Harold.
I did not know the man well but the day still touched me.
This was real life for the step-daughters who had loved him.
It was real life for his brothers and sister who had to work through their loss and sense of nearness and understanding of mortality.

I had to spend some time researching an old favorite of mine once I got to work.
I was amazed to find that Louis had over 188 CD’s on one site alone.
“Hello Dolly” will always make me smile as I saw that movie with my Grandma.
But my favorite has to be..
“What A Wonderful World”
The sound of Louis letting his talents love these words below
Is sure to bring a smile to your face.

I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin......i love you.

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
Theyll learn much more.....than Ill never know
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin...*spoken*(I ....love....you).

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
*spoken*(you know their gonna learn
A whole lot more than Ill never know)
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself .......what a wonderful world.

Why Do Plants Cry?

2007-09-27T06:22:00.000-07:00

I came to work this morning to find that one of my plants had missed me.

I did not have my camera, but was able to find this picture of another plant that did the same thing.

Very interesting.
Perhaps some of you may understand why this occurs.
As I was searching for answers on my plant, I came accross the study below which
strangely enough ties in with my Changing Stations Blog but for plants.
It is a bit long, but worth the read.

About Positive Music
by Don Robertson

The Plant Experiments

In 1973, a woman named Dorothy Retallack published a small book called The Sound of Music and Plants. Her book detailed experiments that she had been conducting at the Colorado Woman’s College in Denver using the school’s three Biotronic Control Chambers. Mrs. Retallack placed plants in each chamber and speakers through which she played sounds and particular styles of music. She watched the plants and recorded their progress daily. She was astounded at what she discovered.

Her first experiment was to simply play a constant tone. In the first of the three chambers, she played a steady tone continuously for eight hours. In the second, she played the tone for three hours intermittently, and in the third chamber, she played no tone at all. The plants in the first chamber, with the constant tone, died within fourteen days. The plants in the second chamber grew abundantly and were extremely healthy, even more so than the plants in the third chamber. This was a very interesting outcome, very similar to the results that were obtained from experiments performed by the Muzak Corporation in the early 1940s to determine the effect of "background music" on factory workers. When music was played continuously, the workers were more fatigued and less productive, when played for several hours only, several times a day, the workers were more productive, and more alert and attentive than when no music was played.

Dorothy Retallack and Professor Broman working with the plants used in music experiments.

For her next experiment, Mrs. Retallack used two chambers (and fresh plants). She placed radios in each chamber. In one chamber, the radio was tuned to a local rock station, and in the other the radio played a station that featured soothing "middle-of-the-road" music. Only three hours of music was played in each chamber. On the fifth day, she began noticing drastic changes. In the chamber with the soothing music, the plants were growing healthily and their stems were starting to bend towards the radio! In the rock chamber, half the plants had small leaves and had grown gangly, while the others were stunted. After two weeks, the plants in the soothing-music chamber were uniform in size, lush and green, and were leaning between 15 and 20 degrees toward the radio. The plants in the rock chamber had grown extremely tall and were drooping, the blooms had faded and the stems were bending away from the radio. On the sixteenth day, all but a few plants in the rock chamber were in the last stages of dying. In the other chamber, the plants were alive, beautiful, and growing abundantly.

"Chaos, pure chaos": plants subjected to Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix didn't survive

Mrs. Retallack’s next experiment was to create a tape of rock music by Jimi Hendrix, Vanilla Fudge, and Led Zeppelin. Again, the plants turned away from the music. Thinking maybe it was the percussion in the rock music that was causing the plants to lean away from the speakers, she performed an experiment playing a song that was performed on steel drums. The plants in this experiment leaned just slightly away from the speaker; however not as extremely as did the plants in the rock chambers. When she performed the experiment again, this time with the same song played by strings, the plants bent towards the speaker.

Next Mrs. Retallack tried another experiment again using the three chambers. In one chamber she played North Indian classical music performed by sitar and tabla, in another she played Bach organ music, and in the third, no music was played. The plants "liked" the North Indian classical music the best. In both the Bach and sitar chambers, the plants leaned toward the speakers, but he plants in the Indian music chamber leaned toward the speakers the most.

She went on to experiment with other types of music. The plants showed no reaction at all to country and western music, similarly to those in silent chambers. However, the plants "liked" the jazz that she played them. She tried an experiment using rock in one chamber, and "modern" (dischordant) classical music of negative composers Arnold Schönberg and Anton Webern in another. The plants in the rock chamber leaned 30 to 70 degrees away from the speakers and the plants in the modern classical chamber leaned 10 to 15 degrees away.

I spoke with Mrs. Retallack about her experiments a few years after her book was published, and at that time I began performing my own experiments with plants using a wood-frame and clear-plastic-covered structure that I had built in my back yard. For one month, I played three-hours-a-day of music from Arnold Schönberg’s negative opera Moses and Aaron, and for another month I played three-hours-a-day of the positive music of Palestrina. The effects were clear. The plants subjected to Schönberg died. The plants that listened to Palestrina flourished.

In these experiments, albeit basic and not fully scientific, we have the genesis of a theory of positive and negative music. What is it that causes the plants to thrive or die, to grow bending toward a source of sound or away from it? This brings us to many great qustions....

What is Positive Music?
The Effects of Music
The Science of Sound
Musical Scales
The Positive and Negative in Music
The Plant Experiments
Negative Music
Positive Music
How Can I Tell the Difference Between Positive
and Negative Music?

Let’s Face It

2007-09-24T10:58:00.001-07:00

It Is Not The Journey That Is Wierd..

People, all people, are just weird.
My husband and I were discussing the fact that all our friends are a bit weird.
Some more than others, but there is a level of weird to all.
We then looked at each other and began to dissect how weird we must be.
After all, you are what you attract.
We of course think we are not as weird as some of our friends.
Likely, if you know about this site, you are one of our friends and you probably think we are weirder than you.
We can debate that over dinner and a good lemon drop martini at some point.
Really though…all people are weird.
Let me list just a few examples.
We like to go to scary movies where we eat comfort food.
We like our gifts to be surprises, but we want holidays to feel just like when we were kids.
Or perhaps if holidays were not great, we want them to feel like we imagined all the “normal” kids holidays were.
We want to create things no one has ever seen, and then we care more about mass appeal of people recognizing that creation as worthy than celebrating the uniqueness.
It would seem nearly impossible to create a first with the goal of mass appeal in mind.
And yet we try, as we are social creatures.
Even anti-social people look alike. How does that happen without paying attention to what others think and feel?

So, humans who are sometimes humane, and at other times very basic in nature are just plain weird..
Or perhaps vibrantly so.
Either way, for all our weird friends, you are loved and accepted not despite your break from the norm, but because of it.

Changing Stations

2007-09-07T06:45:00.000-07:00

I am the worst at listening to one maybe two different radio stations.
Lately, I have not even turned on my radio at all during my one hour commute in.

Part of the reason I stopped listening to the radio on my drive was to help create an insulated space where inspiration might occur.

Lately, I have had several short deadlines where solutions were needed and trial and error has been discouraged.

In short, I needed ideas that would work the first time.

No Pressure.

Aside:
Most ideas that don’t seem to come just from me...
but instead are more supernatural in nature....
seem to come while I am working out.

Ummmm...I seem to remember that when a boxer is fully engaged in an intense battle,
a lot of the blood has moved away from the brain.
Thus, a hit to the head can cause a knock-out more easily the more tired the boxer becomes.

I think that may be why some ideas come to me better when working out.
My brain is less engaged in a robotic mode and the body and spirit may be getting more of the receptors.

Back to changing stations.
Whether it is no station or a different station, I change as a result.

At work, I have been listening to a lot of Country Music….
mostly because my office is very insulated and there seemed to be only one station that would come in clearly.

Lots of good stories in Country Music…but there is a mood to this music that can seep into me.

Not a bad mood, just maybe more of a passive or less confident mood than what might be a good idea given the challenges of the day.

Today, my station did not come in clearly.
Strange…
I had not moved my radio or my antenna and yet my faithful ballads were shadowed with static.

At first I thought, just turn off the radio, enjoy the quiet.
I had tested my radio many times in the past and it only came in clearly on the one station that was now losing strength.

Instead, I tried changing stations.
To my surprise a station that never came in clearly before, is playing soundly now.

This station is more upbeat, intense, and relentless in nature.

Hence this blog….
Just as Rocky needed his theme song before he could run up those stairs in Philly without being winded.
We all need a theme song. Ally was big on this back in the 90’s with her show.

And so here is my ah- ha moment….

If the one you are listening to, is not working for you any longer.
If you have some stairs to climb, that seems to take the wind out of you…..

It might be time to change stations.

These observations may seem like such simple truths for a Friday…

I guess that is one part of life, observing and then acting on simple truths.

Don't Blink

2007-08-28T14:11:00.001-07:00

I had the privilege of spending time with family I don’t get to see often enough this weekend.
Most especially, I got to spend time with my father.
I remember thinking how blessed we are to have had so many years with my Dad.
We came home to find out that one of our friend’s significant other, had passed away on Saturday.
He was a father as well.
I don’t think he was even 50.
I remember when my father, now 77 turned 50.
We got him a gold watch and he also became a grandfather that year.
He was feeling younger than 50 then.

He got to speak to our youngest on the phone while we were there.
He did not say the exact words below, but he did remind us and him that time flies.
Today, Dad is feeling his 77 years.
Every phone call I make to him is precious.
I struggle with the knowledge that we can not call on our earthly Dad’s forever.

Don’t Blink

I turned on the evenin' news
Saw an old man being interviewed
Turnin' a hundred and two today
They asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his ol' pipe
Laughed and said, 'All I can say is'

Chorus

Don't blink
Just like that
You're six years old and you take a nap
And you wake up and you're twenty-five
And your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growin' like mine did
Turnin' into moms and dads
Next thing you know
Your better half of fifty years is there in bed
And you're prayin' God takes you instead
Trust me friend
A hundred years goes faster than you think
(So) (But) don't blink

2nd Verse

I was glued to my TV
When it looked like he looked at me
And said, 'Let's start puttin' first things first'
'Cause when your hourglass runs outta sand
You can't flip it over, start again
Took every breath God gives you, for what it's worth

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge

So I been tryin' to slow it down
I been tryin' to take it in
In this here today, gone tomorrow world we're livin' in

(Repeat Chorus)

Tag

Naw, don't blink
Don't blink
Life goes faster than you think
Don't blink
Life goes faster than you think
Don't blink
Don't blink
Life goes faster than you think

Castles To The Right- Mud Wrestling To The Left

2007-08-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

True story.

I am driving down a country road slighty over the speed limit of 45 miles per hour.
The road is a winding series of rolling hills spotted with farms and farmer wannabee residences.

On my drive I am caught off guard by a new housing development of castles.
These homes are 6000 sq ft plus, with stone exteriors that were built by people who clearly take the "Your Home Is Your Castle" to heart.

I would guess they were inspired by a man who actually built a casle further down the road.
The man and his homesite has enticed a pilgrimage of Renasance particpants that is well known here in Middle Tennesee.

OK, back to the drive.
We have million dollar castles on the right and within 200 yards of the entrance way on the left is a sign.
A very professional and classy sign mind you.
If you were making this sign for those who are not rednecks, or common serfs you would say without shame:
"Here's Your Sign".

And what did the sign say?
"Mud Wrestling For Epilepsy"

I am sorry to say I was going a bit too fast to get the date and time of the event.
The location was going to be on the undeveloped land accross the street from the castles.

The phrase, "Only In America" immediately came to mind.
Of course it is wonderful that people of means are philinthropic.
It is also fun to think of people mud wrestling.
I would guess that the epileptics are not the contendors.

You wonder if this was the first idea bounced around and what was ruled out before mud wrestling?
Yard Sale- nope we might have to leave the gate open.
Fish Fry- nope - we don't want to be confused with a spiritual group...
Mud Wrestling is the new Jousting, yes that is the ticket.

Nothing will show the poeple we care about better (people who have frequency issues with brain waves) like us throwing each other down in the mud in little or no clothing.

I really am not suggesting that there is anything wrong with this plan.

I this is an excellent fundraising opportunity where wealthy people can come out, get really dirty, maybe get a few licks in against the neighbor who put in the bigger moat, support a great cause and have fun.

Only In America

Let's Give Them Something To Smile About

2007-08-09T05:43:00.000-07:00

Do you need something to smile about?

My day started out perfect in the things that matter.

After I got to work, I had an email waiting for me from one of the coolest 12 year olds you could ever meet.

Her ability to find things that will make you smile is a gift.

Here is what she sent me: click and see...

Breaking Point

2007-08-07T05:36:00.000-07:00

Everyone has one. We have days where the world just feels a bit nuts.
I reached one of sorts this morning.
I remember thinking that God never gives us more than we can handle.
I also felt incredibly stupid at the same time.
The thing I broke over was really so insignificant.
My reaction, ...completely out of line.

On my drive in, I prayed for forgiveness and of course,
in keeping with my current aspiration, wisdom.

Here is what I got:

Yes, it is true, God does not give us more than what we can handle.
Yes, at the same time, we can reach a breaking point.
Sometimes we break, sometimes we got get stretched.
This does not mean we can not handle breaking.

The key to the wisdom here was, now what.
What will you fill the cracks in your mind, body and spirit with now that you have been broken.
Are you going to fill them with self-pity or thankfulness?
Are you going to go vent to someone, or celebrate what you have learned?
What have you learned?

For today, here is what I learned.
Take nothing for granted. Nothing.
Stay thankful in all things.
Even thankful for breaking points and the mistakes we should learn from.

Placing Your Ideas In Between A Rock and A Hard Place

2007-07-31T11:39:00.000-07:00

Have you met people who want to do the right thing?... They want to change the world or at least their world. But only on their own terms, no advice needed ...no conflict wanted.

They do not want to argue.

It is not healthy to argue out of habit or just to maintain control, but there are times where
debate in relationships is needed.

In making important decisions, it is wise to have constructive argument and differing points of view.

Referring to an example of the Cuban Missile Crisis, Robert Kennedy wrote about the importance of disagreement
in reaching the best decisions:

"The fact that we were able to talk, debate. argue, disagree and then debate some more was
essential in choosing our ultimate course....Opinions, even fact itself, can best be judged by conflict, by debate.
there is an important element missing when there is unanimity of viewpoint."

So new wisdom may come from sharpening your ideas against a person who sometimes rubs you the wrong way.

Better Thighs, Better Hair and Wisdom

2007-07-27T12:23:00.000-07:00

I once had to write a paper on my three top personal goals.
It was a long time ago.

My paper began with.. I aspire to Better Thighs, Better Hair and Wisdom.
I followed with..I have obviously not been working on Wisdom for very long or it
would not be out-ranked by Thighs and Hair.

20 years later as I look in the mirror I see some Gray, more from
a need to get to my stylist than Wisdom.
My thighs are balanced well with my curves earned through my
new passion to cook.

Wisdom...ummm
I would say that it is time to move that one up on the list.
So here is a great quote from James Collins...

"You must learn to live with the fact that you will make
mistakes--lots of mistakes--and that you will learn from them.
Mistakes are in fact a great source of strength: making mistakes
is analogous to building muscle in athletic training.

Think about it for a minute: how does an athlete get stronger?
By pushing to the point of failure. You do, say three pull ups
and fail on the fourth. The body adapts and gets stronger
and the next time you can do four pull ups.

The body adapts and gets stronger and the next time you
can do four pull ups and you fail on the fifth.

The next time out you can do five pull ups, and fail on the sixth,
and so on.

The process of making decisions, some of which are "failures," and
learning from them is "building muscle."
If you don't ever make mistakes, you'll be forever stuck at three pull-ups.

Be proud of the fact that you periodically make mistakes. It shows that you're
not one of the timid souls who are so terrified of making a mistake that they don't
do anything worthwhile with their lives. As Paul Galvin, founder and architect of
Motorola, said, 'Do not fear mistakes. Wisdom is often born of such mistakes.' "

To be honest, I doubt I could do one full pull-up.
Those thighs have an amazing "grounding weight" to them.

I can chest press 25 pounds in each arm, but not pull up my full weight.
ummm- first I think I need to work on that one
Second there is probably a series of blogs on pulling your own weight.

So where is this going?
If you had a tough week and you made some mistakes, take heart.
If you had a great week and did everything right, think about taking it up a level.

Going First

2007-07-25T10:43:00.001-07:00

When you are around a group of people going through extreme transitions you get to see patterns.
One of these patterns is the forging of new relationships.

There is one consistent element within a willingness to connect.
Someone makes the first move.

It may only be by a couple of seconds or sometimes...
The person who makes the first move is hanging out there, vulnerable for quite some time.
And of course, sometimes the person gets rejected and there is no positive connection.

I would have to say that most of the time I do not go first unless I am in sales, training or
a hospitality mode at home.

I wait
I watch
If I think there is something I may be able to help with, or if I think of something fun to add to the moment, only then do I jump in.

"Better To Appear Foolish Than Remove All Doubt"

There is wisdom here, but maybe...I can get too aloof.

Someone has to go first.
Maybe, it is a weak decision to not let the other person go first.
Maybe the other person is afraid I will reject them.
Seems incredible, but maybe.

So having this new thought under my conscious, I headed into a meeting today where I was the new person.

I thought to myself, how can I help the other people feel welcome.
Strange thought I know, but it made me relax.

Since it was my first time with these people in a meeting, I can not truly measure if they felt me sending them welcoming energy,
gentle smiles and encouraging words as a change or if this was how the meeting always went.

What is sweet about all this is that it really was not that hard to go first.
My husband has an evangelistic spirit and can not help but do this 90% of the time.
Maybe he is rubbing off on me.

Not a bad thing.

Take Me Home...Country Road

2007-07-23T13:24:00.000-07:00

We had one of the sweetest most relaxing weekends this past weekend.
We got fresh air

We busted some moves...

...likely the twenty something's just thought we busted something

We laughed, held hands and moved closer as we
Drove over lots of hills,

Took our Super Bug through the woods and corn fields and yep

To Grandmother's house we went as well.

We saw breath taking views in unexpected places.

We ate well
We warmed up in a hot tub.

It was one of the best.

Bird Houses

2007-07-19T08:55:00.000-07:00

Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
Albert Einstein

I had the opportunity to sit across the table from an inspiration yesterday. Someone who has sat down with Presidents. Someone who, even more impressive, still loves to sit down with children. Despite the history of who he knows, and who he has influenced, he is still very humble.

What stood out in the conversation was the unique way that he motivates one to let go of the past. Yes, if we do not educate ourselves on the history of the world, business, relationships and science we will be tempted to repeat our mistakes rather than learn from them.

At the same time we can become inert as we find comfort in our study of what has happened past the point of usefulness. We must be ready to embrace change, creatively adapt to where we are now.

I heard another man last week, who happens to be married to a congress woman say that he needed to take 2 minutes. The first minute was to admit that he had made a mistake. The second minute was to learn from that mistake. He protects that time from interruption and only gives that 2 minutes of his time for recovery and learning.

What is the point of all this. Simply... we (planners like myself) perhaps spend too much time regurgitating other people's ideas. We think that will protect us or enable us to solve the next problem we are faced with.

Because of this, we can be tempted to then spend way to much time trying to understand how our plans were not fulfilled perfectly.

Albert was likely surrounded by people who put their pride in what they could site from others ideas or creations. He was looking for new thoughts, creations and solutions.

Sadly, most of our nation can not be accused of reading too much. I am sure I could not either. But I am guilty of too much entertainment. TV, music, and movies likely rob our creativity to an even greater degree.

So, in keeping with doing nothing, I believe I will add time for doing unique creative projects.

We eat a lot of popsicles. It has been year's since I made a popsicle bird house. This maybe a fun place to start with stretching my creativity.

Nothing From Nothing Ain't Nothing

2007-07-14T13:23:00.000-07:00

The power of being able to do nothing.

To enjoy, doing nothing.

We run from nothing in this nation.

We activate our lives to the point of over-saturation and still...

We lack the ability to say we are satisfied.

Doing nothing is of course something.

It may be for Americans the most disciplined decision we could make.

When we get quiet with ourselves we are forced to really look at what we are when we are alone, not spending, not entertaining, not producing.

This time makes us feel vulnerable and so we run...
and we teach our children to run.

We attempt to elude the experience of understanding who we are without our things, our awards, our events that mark who we think we are.

We are a composite of memories housed in a fragile cell based shell.

We are souls cast into fluid motion.

We are not from here and will not always be here.

We are, I am ...in solid need of remembering all these things.

There is more to where I am and where I am going than the noise of my own activities.

It is the silence in between the notes of my time now that I struggle to find comfort in.

And maybe that is ok..

Maybe it is important to put ourselves into uncomfortable situations, rather than waiting for the lesson to be learned through another force of events.

Doing nothing...
an oxymoron perhaps...
a concept to dwell in....
an activity to master.

2007-07-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

There are times when I listen to something and not notice the affect immediately.
We are easily imprinted.
Then there are times when I hear something and know that a cord was stuck within me.
That is how it was yesterday when I heard this song for the first time.
It is a good answer to the questions that Toby has been asked.
It is a good answer to some of the questions we all ask ourselves when we are in a battle.
In a nation of extremes, there is balance in the wisdom below.
What do we say to our children when they ask us what we believe?

I think that the words below are a start....

Sometimes I think that war is necessary.
Every night I pray for peace on Earth.
I hand out my dollars to the homeless.
But believe that every able soul should work.

My father gave me my shotgun that I'll hand down to my son, try to teach him everything it means.

(chorus)
I'm a man of my convictions. Call me wrong, call me right. But I bring my better angels to every fight. You may not like
where I'm going, but you sure know where I stand. Hate me if you want to, love me if you can.

I stand by my right to speak freely. But I worry 'bout what kids learn from TV. And before all of debatin' turns to angry
words and hate, sometimes we should just agree to disagree. And I believe that Jesus looks down here and sees us, and if you
ask him he would say

(chorus)
I'm a man of my convictions. Call me wrong, call me right. But I bring my better angels to every fight. You may not like
where I'm going, but you sure know where I stand. Hate me if you want to, love me if you can.

(chorus)
I'm a man of my convictions. Call me wrong, call me right. But I bring my better angels to every fight. You may not like
where I'm going, but you sure know where I stand. Hate me if you want to, love me if you can.

Here Today- Been Gone To Maui

2007-07-05T13:59:00.000-07:00

Taking Time To Re-Create

Recreation, a friend once told me...
Is intended to help you re-create yourself.
Micheal and I were blessed with a wonderful trip last week to Maui.

The last few weeks of over the top deadlines, amazing performances and heartfelt transitions as work was followed by....
bliss.
We had a blast.
It was so beautiful.
I can still feel the ocean breeze.
I can still picture my hunk of a hubby donning his motor cycle helmet with his giant magnetic smile before we trekked down the 32 miles to the bottom of our mountain ride.

This was the most time off we have take at one time in 6 years.
It was wonderful.

Even better than the trip was coming home and still wanting to do things with my hubby.

I heard a line in a movie once...the couple was talking about people who think that they will come to the island to find romance.
They usually leave disappointed.
The native to the island said that people find in the island what they have in them.
If they have passion in them before the trip, they will come back finding themselves remembering the trip as one of passion.
If they did not, they are likely not to come back closer just because they went away to an island.

This weekend after we got home, it was still so fun to have time off together.

We are so blessed.

The time away definitely reminded me of how very blessed we are.

God Spoke To Him- He is the only one?

2007-06-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

Copying Beethoven

What a wonderful experience we had this weekend.
What a surprise this movie was.
There are times where think you may be losing brain cells while watching a movie and then there was this movie.

My husband will no doubt expound on this with words that will better sear the images to your mind.

Let me just give you this....
When I watched this movie, I understood better the complexities of genius...

Why is that important? I am not after all a genius myself.

I felt like I was, for a moment, more compelled
more defined
more interesting.

Why, because another human had shown me how someone could reach up to the heavens and pull down
creations beyond average, beyond great,

these compositions...they were quite perfect.

With an ear to God. he wrote what he heard.

There is so much more to the movie than this....

But the idea that we can pray and then obey, ask and then receive, listen and then expound perfection...

Very encouraging indeed.

Where Do We Start

2007-05-31T11:35:00.000-07:00

Do we really ever start anything?
Clearly, it has been a while since I started to write this addition to my blog.
It is funny, I don't have a problem adding thoughts here once I get started, something spills out.
One thing is for sure, if I do not start it, nothing gets written.

So, I got to thinking about getting started.
Do we have total control over what we start?
It is good to be self-motivated a self- starter as they say, but really....
We don't start anything from scratch.
Someone or something starts things for us.
We may miss those moments that come before our awareness.

Our hearts don't start themselves with each beat.
We do not start the day.
It will start with our without our permission.

We may decide to end some things.
But we are not the original source of anything.

All creations, ideas and sensations were started before we ever knew it.
We just jump in, respond or back away from the creations and opportunities that we are blessed with.

So, I will end with this...
It is exciting to be part of something that has just gotten started.
It is important to know we can be part of that start-up up until we are not.
I want to remember to stay humble and remember who is the real creator of all start-ups.
Be thankful for the time spent in each season of my life.

All life is transactional.
The End ...
.....or is it the start of the time in between now and the next time I start?

Mulch Monster

2007-05-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

We are going to spend this weekend killing a mulch monster.
The mulch monster will arrive sometime tomorrow.
Our attack will be well thought out.
Shovels, wheel barrows, gloves and a trench machine will be our weapons of mass destruction as we wear down the mulch monster.

When we get done, this large mulch monster will beautify our yard.
We are going for curb appeal.
Putting on our best show as we get ready to sell.

It is funny how close selling a house is to courting.
Flowers are blush, lip gloss and eye shadow
Mulch is eyeliner, mascara, lip liner.
Pruning your shrubs and trees is like getting a great hair cut
Keeping your grass even is like putting on foundation.
Clean windows and doors, like putting in eye drops and brushing your teeth.

And then come the blind dates.
People who your real estate "dating broker" matches you up with.

They talk about your house just like a blind date.

If you like your home as much as you like yourself, this can be a sensitive vulnerable time.

Well...
We are still getting our make over.
No blind dates yet.

This is a kind of exciting time as we are ready to date another house and we want to be sure we get the right person to date and then marry the house we are in.

There is no telling what our first "blind date" will look like.

There You Are

2007-04-27T15:09:00.000-07:00

When I was young, I was a passionate letter writer.
My favorite people to write to were my sister and my friend Dave.
My friend Dave grew up to be a real writer among other amazing things.
My sister grew up to be a coach to people who want to become better.
(Sales Coach would be the more accurate title, but after watching my sister in action,
her advice rarely stays with just sales)

I used to end my letters with "Wherever you go, There you are."
or
"If you don't know where you are going, how will you know when you get there?"
Yep, even in my teens, I had a strange view of the world.
At 14, I tried out for mascot because I believed if more people had school spirit,
there would be less people taking drugs.

The kids in Junior High that I saw turning to drugs
were the ones not plugged in to any club or group.
So they found their comfort and acceptance elsewhere.

This Friday afternoon I was thinking that I wish there were more people
who were able to find things to be really passionate about.
Dave and my sister have always been on the move.
Always finding a way to influence great numbers of people.

What makes some people understand their giftings
and what gives people a vision so compelling
that they just keep moving forward?

They are undaunted by failure.
They are for the most part so sure that everyone can do what they do
that they are both an inspiration
and a mirror for the people they encounter.

What makes other people give in to a belief that they are here by chance.
Where ever here is ,
they are unsure of how they got there.
They do not attest that the reason they are where they are
is because they controlled where they went.

Not only do they not know how they got there,
they are unsure about where to go next.

There are so many visionless people.

What a lost feeling.

You just want to reach out and cheer them on.
There is a purpose for your life.
You are important.

It is Friday night. 34 years ago, this would be ok...
but now....I suppose it would be a bit wierd to throw on my Eagle suit..
Head out to find a crowd...
And rally them together with a battle cry, a cheer against
Visionlessness, indifference, and isolation.

I would guess that it would also be strange to start a pep club for
middle aged people that are not plugged in.

So, instead ... since I have a vision of encountering other people
that need encouragement, and I am willing to go there when the opportunity presents itself,
I will believe some interesting things will happen this weekend
and
Micheal and I will get a chance to act on being a souce of encouragement.

It is not what happens to you in life

2007-04-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

Day five
First let me start with thank you for the cards, calls and comments.
I am so thankful for all of your friendships.
I was touched by the common understanding of how painful it is to be where we were onTuesday.
The first day was mostly heart wrenching.
The second day toggled between heart wrenching and hurt.
The third day more hurt than heart wrenching mixed with numb,
numb came at first on its own
Numb became choice day 4...yesterday.

It would have been easy to give in to Numb.
To be a person who handles loss as if it is expected, but it does not touch me for long.
Right or wrong, for me...numb, not caring, distancing myself ...
that does not sound like someone I want to become.

A part of me wants to go rescue a puppy for Micheal and I from the pound,
Maybe some day.
A part of me wants to find out if I could donate money for a puppy to be given to a shut in who needs a friend.
My dad has been on my mind this week as his health is not good.
He is not here in TN, we talk often, but I am at a loss to help him first hand.
Maybe doing something for other elderly people and for pups that need a home will help.

Back to the decision not to stay numb.
I handle stress better when I turn to working out and prayer.
So, we went to the gym yesterday morning.
I woke up without tears yesterday.
Mostly, I was numb.
The problem with numb is you are distant from the people who are still with you.
I could see the dangers in staying numb and how unfair that would be to people whom I care about.

Thankfully, "Happy Feet", was playing in our cardio theater.
I adore this move.
As a person who knows she can not sing, but has convinced herself she can dance...
(no comments please on this one, I like my illusions)
I love this movie.
The first time we saw the movie was with our nephew.
The second time was yesterday.
You always catch new things on a second viewing... especially with great films that have many layers.

What made me smile yesterday, was the example of
"It is not what happens to you in life, but what you make of it."
A funny looking older penguin gets elavated to a regal position because he was able to turn his encounter with pollution into a badge of honor.
Because something happened to him, a six pack plastic holder got caught around his neck, and he survived and was able to convince himself and then other penguins that this experience had made him stronger...
He became a hero, a mentor to them.
I am not proposing that we manufacture our experiences into myths to get where we want to go.
I was however, thankful to be reminded that we can make something positive happen, even when we are scared, even when we are hurting.

Last note..
A couple of years ago I watched a program on aging...
specifically on people who were still living independently
At age 100!
They had 2 things in common.
They all agreed that they handled change and loss well.
As I listended to thier testimonies of their lives, it would be easy to understand that there were times when they could have given into bitterness, heartbreak or the more subtle emotion... numb.
Some how they bounced back.

On day 5,
I still want Annie back
I hurt again this morning, having beaten numb back.
But I am starting to smile...

broken

2007-04-17T17:34:00.000-07:00

Today I have to make a decision to let my heart be healed.
The problem with letting the healing start is that my heart, like all growing hearts...
will begin to be vulnerable to attachments.
With attachments come the potential for losing control of how much you can be hurt.
I said out loud to my husband today, "I do not ever want to go through this again."

The pain, came in waves.
My heart is breaking deeper with each breath I have taken since her last.
I have heard this will make my heart stronger, that the cracks will be filled in thus enlarging my ability to love.

No, at 47, this is not the first time I have lost something I have loved so deeply.

It is the first time, I had to help a friend die.

My friends tell me it gets easier.
My husband tells me, be careful not to let that happen.

My struggle is in not knowing how to heal myself. I know God can, but I am not ready.
My struggle is against not wanting to love anything...
.... that would ever need me to help them more than I am able to.

You see, today I gave the word that it was time to let our Annie be put to sleep.
It was. It was the right time.

Tonight- my consious does not second guess that decision but...
.... in matters this deep, my heart has a mind of its own.

Right now, it wishes I had not been so brave.
Right now, it wishes I could not remember the trust in her eyes before I gave the word.
Right now...

I just want her back.
Right now, my heart does not want me to find a way to heal.
It never wants to be the person who is supposed to make it all better, but can not.

I know, I hear you. Where is the silver lining? Where is the promise in this message?
Despite the tears, a small part is still able to say thank you.
I would not hurt this much had I not loved this much.

And so, I will leave these words to find my husband's arms.
This night, I know our broken hearts will speak to each other.

If you can think of something good to say

2007-04-05T18:06:00.000-07:00

Growing up children are usually taught that if they do not have something good to say, say nothing.
Being able to guard what you say,
to never gossip,
never vent,
never discourage....
What power there would be in that kind of self-control.

When we try to break a bad habit, we tend to feel a void.
We miss our old habit, no matter how distructive it was.
Bad habits are like bad relationships, we get used to the space they take up in our lives.
I have heard coaches say that the best way to get over a bad habit is to have an immediate new good habit to replace it.
No great news to you reading this.
This concept got me wondering how powerful our words are when spoke over children, ourselves and others.
Then....I got to dreaming.
What if instead of saying to children, "If you don't have something good to say, say nothing"?
We more often said...
"If you can think of something good to say, say it...
Don't hold back.
Never miss an opportunity to be a source of encouragement to others.
You never know when you might see this person again.
Your words have positive power when spoken over others."

If we did this, what kind of people would we raise?
How much easier would it be for our children to be confident, and attractive to others?
What would thier self-talk sound like?
Would their world be one new positive possibility after another?

What would it hurt to try this?
Well, some may say that we would risk them getting hurt.
That life is hard.
From where I sit tonight, I would agree, life is hard.
It is harder for people who don't work hard and it is harder for people who are negative.

Kids are going to get hurt no matter what. So why not teach them to be positive in the face of adversity....
To look for good at all times....
I think if we could muster up the confidence to try this we would find that more kids in the next generation more determined, so in love with life, that even when someone got in thier face and was trying to make an ass ofthemselves, they could shout back with joy, confidence and determination?

1 out of 10 were women

2007-03-18T10:04:00.001-07:00

We went to see 300 yesterday.

It was a compelling epic.
In a sci-fi level medium, a timeless story was told.
The fight for freedom is not free.
There is a cost.
Just as not fighting for freedom is not free.
The cost comes later.
I have heard bits and pieces of debates over the real message hollywood was sending us by making this movie.
These kind of debates make for good press, especially in a year of transisition.
In this country we are free to watch a movie and speak our minds.
In fact we are free to make many movies that challenge our thinking.
Some may push the limits of being good for society.
This movie came at just the right time.
There are two lessons I was thankfully reminded of:
It is good to be a strong woman that loves her husband, respects him and desires to be a help mate to him.
It is also good to know that there is the capacity for heroism in us. Yes, the reverse is also true. Humans can be evil.
As women we need strong women as role models. Ones that love men and are there for them as strong partners.
As people we need hope.
Heros
Offering
Passion
&
Experience
We need to be reminded that although it can be very hard to do the right thing.
There are those of us who have and therefore it is possible for us as well.
Excellent movie
Even though only 1 out of 10 attending the movie were women, I would recommend it to my friends.

Things You Don't Know When You Are 3

2007-03-13T13:29:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of watching a young girl feed ducks.
It was a wonderful sight.
Her your expression was one of total awe as the ducks swam to meet her.
They had seen this movie before.
With passion the little girl threw handful after handful of feed to the lake.
The ducks went after the food in a peaceful fashion.
For a few moments the girl's parents got distracted.
The little girl had decided that if a little was good, a lot was better.
She lifted a large bag over her head past the fence rail.
Mid-way through what looked like a coach's Gatorade celebratory plunge..
Her father caught the bag before the entire contents could land onto the family of ducks below.
Two things happened next that amused me.
The patient father explained to his daughter that full bags of food thrown onto ducks was not the same thing as feeding the ducks. Things you just don't know when you are 3.
The second thing thing was what happened to one strong willed duck.
When just a bit of feed was being thrown out, nothing was noticeable about this particular duck.
When a feast was thrown out, greed took over.
What is funny is that he spent so much time chasing the other ducks away.
He would rather the feed sink to the bottom of the lake than to share the good fortune.
Greed, even in ducks, not pretty. Whoda thought?
Something I did not know at 47.

Makes me wonder what we will learn at 67.

No Place Like Home

2007-03-08T13:14:00.000-08:00

Home
There is so much potential comfort in that word.
The child in us aches at times with a longing...
"I just want to go home"
Things make sense at home
There is more control at home than out in the world.
The world can be a big and scary place.
"There is no place like home"

A timeless call to encourage us to appreciate what we have and protect and nurish it.
I have been on the road more than I would like lately.
It has had one striking benefit.
I am so thankful I have a home to come back to.

What is it about two women fighting that men find so attractive?

2007-02-19T16:04:00.000-08:00

I had the privilege of watching two women fight today.

Men reading this will be tempted to lose interest when they hear why.

The two women were fighting verbally about the best way to promote positive change, the best way to use a new tool in an effort to engage people who were physically showing up for events, but not really leaving equipped and educated.

What was exciting to watch, was they both shared passion...
They both were confident...
In the end, they were both resolved that compromise was possible.

I have never been in a physical fight or "cat fight" as some would call it.

I have been in a tough place where two of the students I was working with, started to fight and my mom genes kicked in.
I made the common mistake of thinking that if I stood between them and used my "mom voice", things would settle down.
I took a pencil in the arm for that decision.
Interestingly, the boys who were larger than myself, did settle down quickly after that.

There is a good reason why I no longer work with emotionally disturbed kids. I am simply too tender.

I guess I would be considered boring because I don't like violence.

I do like passion though.
I especially liked seeing two women being confident with who they are so much so that they allowed a stranger to see them fight for what they believed in.

I was up at 3 Am this morning, on the road at 4..
Drove for 3.5 hours to make a meeting with these exceptional people.

The fight and the resolution after wards was worth the drive.
It is funny to think that at the end of the day, I would be thankful to have watched two women fight...
And yet, somewhat sleepy and surely more educated...
i am.

Thinking Back

2007-02-14T07:58:00.000-08:00

I have had some amazing Valentine's Days with my husband.

One year he took the day off, went shopping for flowers, candy, and a lovely stuffed animal cradled in a balloon.

One year we both took the day off, bubble baths come to mind.
This year tops all of them.
We are flying my Dad in for a visit today.
Last night my sweet husband got everything ready for my Dad to visit.
He went to the grocery and picked up all my Dad's favorite foods.
After he got home, he decided I should take his car to pick up Dad as that would be easier for him to get into, so he went and filled it up with gas.
He left me all my favorite candies in the seat for me to find this morning.
Dad starts chemo again next week.
It is the first time he has been to visit in almost 5 years.
My sweet husband, knows how much I miss my Dad.
I know tonight he will spoil Dad with lots of attention.
This is the most romantic thing my husband could have done for me.

Thank You Honey!
P.S. Had to add on to this short love letter to my honey. I just got a lovely flower arrangement, a balloon that said "World's Greatest" and the most perfect card.
I am so glad you needed me to save you :)

Just Tortured Enough To Be Interesting

2007-02-13T09:10:00.000-08:00

Having an edge to your personality, can be very interesting.
It is something that is only interesting if it is genuine.
The edge needs to come from a sharpening of your focus
The focus comes from lessons learned

Great songs, stories and lives are releaved out of our
Being just tortured enough to be interesting.
Enough stability to pull through struggles
Enough conflict to hold our attention through the end of the creation.

For those who create, this balance can energize and facilitate.
As I watched the Grammy's, I felt there were several people who had found that balance.
At least for that night, that moment when they performed.
They were just tortured enough and talented enough to be interesting.

If you never set any goals, you will never be disappointed....

2007-02-08T11:54:00.000-08:00

I have met some wonderful people who struggle with goal setting.
Their reason is such a subtle lie.
They buy into the less you hope the less hurt you will have in your life.
The less you plan, the less you will be held accountable for.
The bills still come, there is no free ride and no sure way to avoid all pain and disappointment.
They are still disappointed and they have given away control.

It is so fun to watch when these same wonderful people begin to hope.
Next comes the dare to plan.
Then the actions that are needed follow.

A good friend and I were visiting about this today.
She suggested that people plan with the end in mind.
The vision of Rocky dancing his boxer's dance next to the statue in Philadelphia came to mind.
A winners dance.
He saw the championship belt and went after it.
He planned, did the work and dared to hope.

We are all in a fight.
The battle to stay thankful, passionate and determined is real.
It is important to remember we are winners.
The battle has been won.
Act like winners, and we reap the hope we need to get us started on the path to success.

The Resolutionaries are Coming! The Resolutionaries are Coming!

2007-01-26T07:17:00.000-08:00

This time of year is a a time of renewed focus for many people.

Lot's of new promises to ourselves and others on what we will change.
Many times people start out with high hopes, but struggle with follow through when it comes down to the work.
My resolutions are to be more thankful, more determined and more passionate.
So....
As I see our gym packed with the new years resolutionaries, I am challenged to find reasons to stay thankful.
The temptation would be to grumble because we have to wait to use the equipment we prefer.
My first attempt at staying thankful for this perceived disruption was to tell myself that the temporary disruption would be fine if all the people who joined gyms in January would just stay.
Gyms would then be forced to expand and buy more equipment.

Unfortunately most gym managers know that by March most of the resolutionaries will no longer be working out on a regular basis.

Die-hard work out enthusiasts actually take time away from the gym in January while they wait for the bubble of new attendees to dissipate.

Our costs as members are likely less because so many people sign up, pay and then never come.

This made me think....
When I signed up, the gym knew that there was a chance I would pay but never come.
Never tax their resources in any way.

I was just donating to the cause.

This made me think about the harvest of people who start as new members in churches.

Their potential could be revolutionary.
Many of these people donate their time talents and monies for a while and then....
They lose their resolve.

As a church we are not a location, or should not be.

We hopefully are dedicated to real relationship building, discipleship that more intensely equips others.

I remember the first time I joined a gym.
I had been heavy most of my life.
I actually had no expectation that I would ever look good.
I joined because our oldest had gained some weight, had lost some confidence and I wanted to help.
Lucky me, with no training in the natural...
I began to transform.

What I missed was where all positive change originates from.
What I missed was how thankful I should be that I was able to change without a trainer.

I see now the potential with the resolutionaries.

They need a smile as they try to figure out what way to go.

Maybe more will stay this year than last if they have the help they need.
Same thing with new members at church.

This being more thankful thing is really fun! It is going to be a wonderful new year.
So much to be thankful for the more you look for it.

Such a great way to start the week

2007-01-22T15:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning's service was inspiring.

Our oldest did lighting at a church in the 'Boro yesterday evening.
The church is really down to earth in the way they are reaching the local community.
Lots of kids hanging out in what would be a coffee house for Christ.
Hebrews Coffee is it's name and it is housed in Emerge, a different kind of church.
Music was great. Our son had fun.

Later this week our youngest has a birthday. That same evening he gets to play with Kevin Mack of DC Talk.

This year has gotten off to a great start. It is fun to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

We are blessed indeed.

If You Really Listen...

2007-01-14T13:52:00.001-08:00

If you really listen.....best to listen to those who
have your same vision.

It is amazing what you can learn from people.

You learn from their questions, how they answer
questions, what they say and what they do not.

We met some defining men this last week.
Dudley and Ray are friends, and partners with strong
visions. Their expectations for each other and for
what they will do for others is high.
They dream big and then they build it.
They are in fact builders of buildings by trade and
builders of relationships by choice.

We liked them very much.

Dudley has a daughter that he describes as well
grounded and and at the same time destined to take the
world by storm...a powerful combination.

Brooke Morton is an aspiring County Music Singer.

As I listened to Dudley yesterday, he talked about the
importance of not listening to critics. Brooke has her
plans in motion, has a great day job as a
cosmetologist and he is very proud of what she has
accomplished so far.

He has no doubts his daughter will go far.

In the same conversation he was talking about Kelly
Pickler. He was hoping that she would find a good
team of people to help her fully achieve all of her
goals.

There was such wisdom in how Dudley looked at coaching
and team building.

In the same conversation he was indicating that Kelly
would need some people to advise her and that Brooke
should not listen to critics.

As I listened to what Dudley was not saying,
he had quietly proved that there is a difference between a team of people who goal is to help you grow
and critics.

He lives with a wisdom of keeping people close to you that have your same visions
and who if needed would offer good advise you if you need it.

He shows us that you will at some point need that covering and you should be thankful for it.

Stay away from those who do not have your vision and
whose role or job it is to only find things wrong...

Do not take to heart what you hear from the critics of the world.

There were so many other entertaining moments in our
visit with Dudley and Ray. These were two men who
had lived through enough challenges together, that
they had built a partnership that would last.

It was fun to watch them together.

They were passionate, determined and thankful men.
Three qualities I hope to continue to increase in
myself.

Nothing better

2007-01-05T10:28:00.000-08:00

It is a cloudy day here in Nashville.
I was thinking ahead to coming home this evening.
I was thinking about how much I like my husband.
He is so many things to me.
Right then James Taylor began to sing...

When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,
And you know wherever I am
Ill come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And Ill be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend.

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
And soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
Ill come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And Ill be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
Ill come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don't you know that,
Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you've got to do is call.
Lord, Ill be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend.

Such a good thing to know that your husband is also your friend.

Love you honey

Are you dreaming about going or...

2007-01-02T10:57:00.000-08:00

I believe this is the most excited I have been about the start of the new year.

I have great expectations for my friends and family this year.
My husband and his best friend have said for years,
"This is Our Year!"
I love it when they encourage one another with this age old mantra.
I really do believe that this year will be a great year.
I expect change this year.
I know it will not all be from my decisions and some changes will be thrust upon me.
And yet I am still excited.
I know there will be new friends to be made and the same potential for those I love to be lost.
And yet I am still excited.
I have woke up the in the middle of the night several times in the last 10 days and found myself midway through dreams of change.
The question I woke up with today was..
"Are you dreaming about making these changes or are you planning for how you will accomplish them?"
I think that the reason I am excited, dreaming, catching visions and planning is that the changes are part of something bigger than myself.
I would be tempted to be nervous about change except I really believe that there is a bigger plan and I am blessed enough to be part of it.
There is elevated energy that comes from stepping into change.
I have no doubt my husband and his friend will accomplish things that will far exceed my destiny.
And yet I am still excited.
I look forward to watching their dreams come into reality.
For me, today...looking ahead
After much consideration, dreams are great but I am planning how to get to end of this rainbow.

In Between

2006-12-27T16:05:00.000-08:00

Christmas was a great beginning.
We were able to spend Christmas Eve with our sons.
We ate a great meal and after much pressure from me, everyone agreed to watch Cars.
Nevermind there was no one under 23 in the room.
Mom got her way and we watched a movie that was well crafted and inspiring. It tugged at both your heart and the corners of your mouth. No matter your age, you could not help but smile.
Christmas Day we slept in, spent some time with our TN siblings and nephew and then back home to chill.
Not a lot of running around.
We have yet time to make our visit to our nursing home friends.
We are saving that for this weekend.
These days in between Christmas and New Years have been spent planning our next move.
Dreaming about a home that will be a refuge for family and friends.

We dream about a home site that is a little bit country.. a little bit rolling hills.
We dream about a long drive way leading up to our home where neices and nephews and future grandbabies can wear out their little legs riding bikes.
We dream about a family room filled with a pool table, arcade games, air hockey and comfy chairs.
We dream about an extra bedroom downstairs where our older parents can rest when they visit.
We dream about friends pulling up the drive and feeling free to park on our grass and hang out on our porches.
We dream about the Christmas's to come with our sons and their future families filling our home with laughter.
We dream about a home closer to our church so we can invite friends over for Sunday lunches.

We dream about a hot air ballon taking off from the front yard.
Yes, I would love to take lessons.

This year during the time in between the holidays we are looking forward to buying our first home together.
So far the process has been fun.
Dreaming together, knowing some of our dreams may come true....
It is a good place to be...
In between the reality of where you are and into the energy of the dream of wherever you could go.

Sleigh Bells Ring Are You Listening?

2006-12-20T08:34:00.000-08:00

"Will have lots of fun with Mr.Snow Man!" Great Ole Song!
So far we do not look to be getting a white Christmas this year.
With 5 days to go, it looks like Mr.Heat Miser is reigning here in TN.

There is a part of me that would like to see a warm snowy day.
Growing up in Ohio we had days, or ones that my memory has created...
That were just cold enough to create icing on the hills in the valley and just warm warm enough that as long as you kept moving you could work up enough body heat to make it comfortable.
I think back to my little brothers sledding with my sister and I.
Our Dad would jump in for some runs with us.
Some years later, our sons slipped down the same hills chased by our faithful Annie.
My imagination is glowing with memory making ideas for this year..
With my sweet husband, our sons and their girls in tow we will find a way decorate this year with new memories.
Still hoping for snow though.

Going the Wrong Way to Get Right

2006-12-14T18:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning I walked into a fog.

We are having a spring winter relationship here in TN.
Last week it was winter.
Yesterday spring entered cloaked in a thick fog.
I left for work about 5 AM.
I felt very safe in the quiet morning.
The fog and the lack of traffic was insulating.
It helped that the temperature was 30 degrees higher than last week.
I was smiling as my bug and I headed off to Nashville.
I have been making this drive for over 5 years.
I would say that I could drive it in my sleep.
Yet not so easily in a thick fog.
Within 10 minutes from home I found myself going the the wrong way onto 840.
No...I did not do a Nicole Richie and head up a down ramp.
I went east when I would have always gone west.
My first reaction was female.
Heart racing followed by self recrimination.
After a few seconds, survival techniques kicked in.
Slow down, remember the answer on your driver's test from 31 years ago..
Things appear to be moving at 1/2 the actual speed in a fog.
Fog thickens...
Breathe...
Then a sign...
It gives the miles to a city east of Nashville...
Ummmm..."I bet it is safer to go this way and connect back over rather than getting off on a country road and turning around"....
"Ummm..."I think I may actually only be off by 5 minutes getting to work because the traffic is less."
"Ummmm..."This might be fun. I might actually like going this way sometimes"
Within a few minutes I went from scared, frustrated to excited and creative.
A part of me was paying attention to the road, and a part of me was writing this blog.
I began to think about how much our attitudes play into survival.
It is so flip to say attitude is everything.
God is everything. We are just here trying to survive in a world that can be very tough.
Our attention to detail, our actions when we think no one is watching determine our course.
Sometimes we are determined to go the wrong way. We only seem to learn from our mistakes.
Sometimes we find ourselves too tired, we become careless, we underestimate what one wrong turn can do to our lives.
And yet..we are both stubborn and resilient as humans.
We can learn from our mistakes and we can bounce back.
Here is the most amazing part of this story..
Shortly before I was to get off the highway the fog lifted..
You could see the start of the sunrise...
Because the fog was lifting I was paying more attention to the world around me.
I passed under a bridge just then..
The name on the sign for the road the bridge connected was
New Hope Road.
It has been a long year for my family.
Many tests, many trials.
The night before this drive I had told my husband that no matter what, I would not want to be a person without hope.
I am thankful I went the wrong way yesterday.

Just Imagine

2006-12-11T11:54:00.000-08:00

Have you ever met anyone who helps you take the genesis of an idea into something you can touch.
Can you imagine being so creative that when someone says,
"Dream With Me For A Minute"
You get excited about catching a glimpse of a vision. You are still excited even when you count the cost of how hard the labor process will be to actually make the vision a reality.
Can you imagine being so creative that you can get lost in time while you create even to the point of going without sleep?
What a gift. It is almost as if people who have this gift are from a different world.
My husband has this.
This weekend I needed help. He worked to bring my words into images that would set a stage for a successful launch of a new idea. He ideas and creative touch outshine what I could ever see on my own.
He is also a master in creating energies that help people make the most out of themselves.
I am better for him, in spite of myself.
For so long I could not imagine a man strong enough to help us pick up our pieces and place them into the growing mosaic that is our family.

And now...
I can not imagine us without him.
My sweet husband turns 40 this week.
I can get excited as I know there will be wonderful things that lie ahead for him.
Trying to bottle his creativity would be like trying to bottle time.
Both are energies.
Both are portals.
We can not hold either, but still...I would have to share....
"I have looked around enough to know that you're the one I want to go through time with...."
I love you honey!

When people speak about you…would you love to have them say you are like John?

2006-12-01T07:56:00.000-08:00

Will you be known as the one who smiles no matter what…..I am not there yet. I would love to be. An old friend sent me the story about John. Enjoy.

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good
mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood."

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or..I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life! I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower industry to start my own business.

We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

He continued, "..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the
ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of
his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry
about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34

Asking For Help

2006-11-27T10:18:00.000-08:00

This year the turkey, dressing, sweet potatoes casserole, green beans that I prepared were all much more satisfying than they have been in past years.
The reason is, I asked for help.
After years of sitting back and enjoying other people's talents in cooking, this year it was my turn.
I was determined that if I humbled myself and watched a great cook, that I could do better than average for our family.
This made me realize how important it is, the older we get, to stay humble and ask for help.
The world moves so fast, so many new ideas, inventions and creative solutions.
One thing remains a constant.
The importance of humility and asking for help.
Paying attention when you get it certainly helps as well...
But humility goes first.
Trust in teaching is also a key ingredient.
The combination is life changing and...
really yummy!

Now I just need to find some one who makes beautiful cakes that taste as good as they look.

Journeys

2006-11-18T15:22:00.000-08:00

Our youngest will be away from home this holiday.

He is out in California this week and then in Texas next week.
He will get to spend some time with my brothers tomorrow.

Both my brothers are strikingly handsome men.
Both my brothers have a son and one also has a daughter.
All of their children are also very good looking, funny and smart.
Their children are much younger than mine.

It is more like our sons are uncles instead of cousins when you look at their ages.
At 23 Nick has seen more than I had by the time I was 33.
I was in love with being a mom as a first priority from 21 to 34.
A vacation for me was going to see family with family in tow.

My world view up to age 34 was very sheltered.
I really had no understanding of how painful some people's lives were.

I have a great deal of respect for my brothers.
I also like the man Nick is becoming.
He has such high aspirations.
He has the talent to reach them.

I am hoping that Nick will learn things on this trip that will help him on his journey.
Things a mother can not teach.
Things maybe an older uncle will understand.
You don't leave behind your work, responsibilites and lessons when you travel.
But I have found some distance coupled with wisdom from family will help you grow.
His journey is not about me, it is his alone to grow in.
My journey is to get better at stepping back and watching him go.

One last thought. Stretch marks.

Scars
Reminders of a time where your child inside of you, grew, kicked, swam and slept.
Your body stretched, making room for your child to grow.
Beautiful traces of another time when your child grew without permission.

Internally, as your childern move away there are new stretch marks.
You let them go but your love stretches.
Making room for you to become more nurturing, more patient, less selfish.

The first year I was without our sons on Christmas, I made a decision to
go spend the day at a Nursing Home. I knew if I was not busy, I would have a hard time focusing on what I had rather than what was not with me. Micheal and I had a blast visiting with people time had forgotten.

As I think ahead to this holiday, we will have so much to be thankful for. I know myself, I will still have to stay busy. I think I know where I may be again this year.

Can You Spare Some Change?

2006-11-17T06:58:00.000-08:00

This time of year we seem to get asked for so many things.

So many people out there with less.
We hopefully catch the holiday spirit and we dig down and find money, time and smiles.
Here in Tennessee we are called the Volunteer State.
Such a high mission with so many rewards.

As I think about sparing change, I also think about how helping others changes us.

Our hearts grow.

Great memories are made.

Hope for better things abound.

So...Can you spare some change? The transformation will be amazing.

Gotta Family With Lots Of Incredible Stuff Going On

2006-11-14T11:40:00.000-08:00

Check out this Great Family

What a cute bunch!

Take It Off... Take It All Off

2006-11-10T13:24:00.000-08:00

Ok, many of you are too young to remember this commercial.
It was very effective in getting your attention.
As they say, sex sells.

I once heard a sales rep call a school and the gentleman who was on the other line asked
"What are you selling?"
The sales rep immediately replied
"What are you buying?"

Although sex does sell, what we like to buy is confidence.
There is nothing more attractive than someone who believes in themselves.
I am not talking about pride or ego, just good ole American Confidence.

Wouldn't you like to be known as someone people believe when you make a promise with a handshake, who honors what you say, who never over promises and who always delivers, yep very attractive.

No excuses
No pretense

Makes you wonder why we are not all like this and if we are some of the time, why not all the time...

We allow ourselves to get gunked up. We lose our passion.
We look at the world through glasses filtered with insecurity glazed with unforgiveness.

What should we do?

TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT ALL OFF!

Show the world how really attractive you can be without the gunk.

Yep, sex sells...
But what we buy, love to be around and what we count on is confidence.

How do we get lasting confidence?

Sounds simple...

Spend quiet time with the most confident entity there is.

You will become more like him.

Looking for a reason to smile

2006-11-07T12:38:00.000-08:00

Some days you can not help but smile.
Some days you have to really look hard for a reason to smile.
Most days we are spoiled.
We expect life to be there for us rather than us being there making things happen.
We have to fight our whiney natures.

Here are some things that are easy to do that will always help bring a smile:
Speak looking up. You almost have to smile.
Chinese fire drill at lunch. Hard to do that without smiling.
If you are lucky enough to still have one or more parents, call them and tell them you love them.
Write a love note to your spouse. Fold it up like you used to back in Junior High. Slip it in somewhere that they will not notice it right away. Wait...imagine their smile...Enjoy their unexpected reaction.
Do something "just because" for you co-workers. Food, funny notes, happy voice mails...all good.
If your kids are grown, look at their baby pictures.
If your kids are babies, look at your baby pictures. Call your parents again.
Count your blessings. I mean really count them. You will likely find more things right in your life the more you look for them.
And last but not least, get creative.
Journal, doodle, paint, sculpt.
Throw yourself into the moment

Either alone or with a friend...you will enjoy finding new aspects of yourself in your creations.

Who told you that?

2006-11-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

We are a collective of memories of what has been spoken over us.

One word of encouragement and we beam.

One word of criticism and we begin to shrink back.

There is an art to encouraging others to new levels without a trace of criticism.

The first and most important step in being able to do this is....

You think of the person you want to help only in the positive.

You have to see them as already able to go to the next level in whatever you seek to encourage them on.

This means only forgiveness, and genuine love in your spirit so they will know they can trust you.

What we say has power.

We become like the people we hang around.

We should all have a couple of people in our lives who can tell us what we need to work on, what new levels they see us able to achieve.

Encouragement spoken in love....

Overcoming past habits because we are developing new and better ones.

Helping people do this....

Learning to be better myself....

Just makes a girl wanna smile.

Get out of the way

2006-10-29T15:29:00.000-08:00

Ouch. It is a hard lesson to learn.
Sometimes the best thing we can do to help someone else is to get out of the way.

This can be true in teaching roles, and it is definately true when you look at the relationships you have with your adult children.

You have to let them make their own decisions.

You have to try to not argue or lecture when you do not agree with their decisions.

Even when they ask you for advice you have to be careful to not sound condesending.

In short, you have to relate to them as if they were not your kids, you relate to them as you would hope any nice, wise caring person would relate to you.

You can not make up for all the mistakes you made when your parents were trying to get you to listen.

My Dad's best advice was to pick my battles when our kids were teenagers.

I am sure I missed the big picture and did not always do this.

You can not go back and wipe away the pain you caused them because you, just like them were just doing your best to figure things out.

You have to still be there for them when they need you, but you can not protect them.

Ohhh, but you want to.

What is most amazing about parenting is how your love for your children only continues to grow.

They need you less and you love them more.

So hard to pull back and let them go be their own men.

So important to get out of the way and let them find their own way to shine.

Return On Investment

2006-10-27T14:31:00.000-07:00

Picure below is my more attractive blog double

I have been working on budgets this week.
Before this week, I have been travelling more than normal.
Just for fun, I have mixed in a bit of speaking to some fun people down in Arkansas.

I actually like doing budgets.
We are doing our normal budget version, where will we finish this year.
We are also doing our normal budget version, where will we finish next year.

Just for fun, we are adding in what we expect for 2008 and 2009.

Here is what is funny. We can actually plan that far in advance with some accuracy.

Here is what is exciting. We begin to see exponential growth from the seeds we first planted last year.

It is encouraging to stop and plan when you can find your work will bear fruit.

In fact, I sit here at the end of a very long week more energized than I was on Monday walking in.

The realization of a strong ROI, brings energy and focus.

Here is the irony.

I have carefully laid out 3 years of hiring, spending, creating and profits.

I have no idea what I am doing this evening when I get home.

I hope I will be able to stay awake and head back down to Nashville to see our son play late tonight.

If it were at 8 or 9 (which actually would be bad for him as those are not great spots for a band), it would be an easy oh sure! We're in.

But as he is headlining, it will be 11 or later and I am not always young enough to start an evening that late.

Such a weak dilemma I know.

Here's hoping I am young enough to keep up with our son this evening and I don't wuss out as a tired pickle.

I know the ROI will be a good one.

Growing In Love

2006-10-22T15:58:00.000-07:00

My sweet wonderful husband is forever reminding me to be where I am.

The analyst in me is looking back evaluating, learning from past history so as not to repeat mistakes.
The dreamer in me is creating paths to the centers of new visions.
Working through the details needed to safely arrive there.

In the midst of those two energies is now.
The talent of being where you are whilst evaluating and dreaming is a practiced skill for me.
It is not one that comes as naturally as planning or remembering.

Three energies controlled help one in fully enjoying and experiencing life and love.

A trinity of gifts working together if you let them.

Powerful rewards come to those who have experienced this kind of self-control and energy awareness.

The ultimate reward is to allow yourself to grow in love.

You know your past, you are passionate about your future and you are enjoying the journey of the day.

This combination allows for greater connections with those you love.

Passion, confidence and thankfulness create positive magnetic energies and they
always help to facilitate closer relationships.

And Yet....
Even as I appreciate the now, I begin to get captivated by the next vision, creation and journey....
oh well... we are who we are.

Plays Well With Others

2006-10-14T17:02:00.000-07:00

Do you remember back in grade school getting report cards that let your parents know how you were doing?

There used to be a section where the teacher could let your parents know how you were doing socially.

Not everyone struggled with this, but some did.

If your parents were enlightened, finding out that your child was struggling with making friends and fitting in, probably helped.

If your parents struggled with this still as adults, this was probably a nightmare for you.

Insecure people struggle with handling constructive advice.

The pointing of fingers, making excuses and the avoidance of the real issues affecting the child began.

Leap with me for a minute to our election year here in TN.

I have watched commercials filled with this very behavior in the Corker vs. Ford battle.

To be fair, before the name calling began, I may have missed commercials that stated what each candidate had in mind if they were actually elected.

The last two commercials aired a few minutes ago. One each for each candidate.

Ford was accused of following in his father's footsteps.

Corker was accused of being good at running a business that would prosper.

Oh yes, these were only the core of the commercials. The sarcastic tones and the hint of what was left unsaid was intended to make you wonder what was really going on.

These commercials were aired during the news.

The saddest part of this is that the news reported that 150 Fort Campbell soldiers have died so far in our Fight Against Terror.

I know that as long as there are humans in this world we will have conflict.

We don't get to pick who gets born.

We do want people in office that are smarter than the average bear, focused on results, good at running a business, have family values that say service to your country is a good idea and if it is not to much to ask, maybe they can find a way to play well with others.

If this were a high school election, I would recommend all members of the chess team, pep club, debate club and marching band and choir pull together for a write in candidate.

"Don't Make Me Come Over There!"

As this is the real world, let's hope that who ever wins grows up before they take office.

In a few minutes

2006-10-10T15:23:00.000-07:00

In a few minutes you can watch the sun move past the earth's crest and the moon give up it's hold as the night light for the world.

In a few minutes you can finish a story or start a new one.

In a few minutes you can listen, encourage and offer wisdom that will lift a person's day.

In a few minutes you can forgive, reconcile and allow love to flourish once again.

In a few minutes you can fall into a kiss that will make your husband smile until you are together at the end of the day.

In a few minutes you can send an email to an old friend, or a thank you note to someone you appreciate.

In a few minutes....

Time and money are not typically wasted in large amounts they are spent a few dollars or a few minutes here and there.

They are used without thought to your return on your investment because they are perceived as small and not as worthy of our focus.

Everything comes down to investing time, money or both.

As I think about all the fun things we can do when we manage our time and money, I get excited.

Even when we do not have a lot of either, our impact can be great.

Funny thing is, I almost did not blog today.

I thought, what is the point, I only have a few minutes.

Oh yeah...

In a few minutes, you can find a way to leave someone with a smile.

A river between us

2006-10-05T11:58:00.000-07:00

Have you ever looked across the river, seen where you want to go
and not be able to?

Your heart, your hopes and dreams are on the other side...

Have you ever followed someone in loving trust?

Have you followed them,
knowing that even if you do not know where they are leading
you know you are safe?

Have you ever partnered with a warrior?

They see so much deeper into people's souls.

They see the depths of how badly you can be hurt.

Their capacity to return harm with harm is only tempered by mercy.

I think of Paul, a warrior turned servant...what a transformation.

I think of Peter able to walk on water as long as he did not think..

Faith carried him as long as he centered his vision on Christ.

A bridge to the other side...

An endless river...

Sometimes buffeting us from those who would not have mercy..

Sometimes drawing us in the same direction as we follow it's course.

I am thankful for mercy and the river of love I feel today.

Falling Down

2006-10-03T14:46:00.000-07:00

“They, that unnamed "they," they've knocked me down but I got up. I always get up-and I swear when I went down quite often I took the fall; nothing moves a mountain but itself. They, I've long ago named them me.”
-Gregory Corso

This morning I did something new.

I found a way to fall in a 2 by 2 ft shower.

I fell fast.

I fell hard.

I remember laughing at myself on the way down.

I have said more than once that I will likely die falling down laughing.

I hit the metal edge of the shower.

The much used "That will leave a mark on a person" came to mind.

I will have a bruise that looks like Zorro got started and then got called away mid Z.

I will have to put my plans to be a "back model" (it is one of my better features)
on hold for a bit.

Annie, tried and true was there to watch my spill.

The look on her face was comical.

As if to say, "what in the world are you thinking mom".

Clearly, not thinking, just stepping out...

Into the shower and then flight.

I did watch Heros last night.

It would be nice to belief that instead of a preponderance of in-agility,

I actually have the start of new super hero talents, early signs of flight perhaps.

I just need practice.

More likely my life is closer to the quote at the start of this blog.

No new talents

They did not cause my fall.

Just me.

Thankfully, life is not measured in how many times we fall but instead...

How many times are we willing to get back up...
and maybe we get extra credit for how much we are willing to laugh at ourselves.

Coming Home

2006-09-30T13:43:00.000-07:00

Flowers
Candles Lit
House cleaned
Dinner Plans at Demos
These were all great.

The smile on my husband's face, knowing that both our sons are doing well and a bouncing greeting from Annie, (who has been pronounced seriously ill, but does not seem to be buying the diagnosis) were all priceless welcome home gifts.

It is good to be home.
It is good to be thankful to be home.
It is good to not want to go away from the people I love.

It would be sad to never miss anyone
To look forward to being away

I am glad it is not as much fun to see new places, do new things without having the people I love there to share these experiences.

I am glad I am old fashioned and protective of my marriage and family.

This week I saw some very friendly out going people who found it easy to make decisions that would hurt
their children and certainly their marriages if they were exposed.

They were living two lives, maybe more.

I was glad I was not tempted to be like them.

I was glad I found it easy to walk away.

This gave me quite a bit of alone time.

More than I have been used to since getting married 4 years ago.

Lots of time to count my blessings.

At the end of a long week away...

I am so glad to say...

It is good to be glad I am home.

Seeing Too Much

2006-09-22T15:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a day where you were able to see too much, feel too much.

A day where you wish you knew less?

Ignorant Bliss.

You start the day off with expectations and then suddenly your world seems to change.

Really all that is changed is your perception of it.

What was happening that you were not aware of, was already there.

You just liked your world better when it was as you imagined it.

If you could, would you want to know everything about what was really happening?

Or would you prefer to live in a white picket fence world, imagining you are in control, things are as you wish?

On a day where you heart hurts so much you feel as you can not catch your breath....

You have lost your appetite for even your favorite things....

It is easy to understand how some people are tempted to give into the drug of ignorance...

Limiting yourself to only asking the easy questions...

Avoiding conflict...

Surface emotions.

It is cowardly, and lazy to live in intended ignorance,,,

But I do understand.

Over several years of my life I let myself remain in surface relationships.

I did not have any strong women in my life to challenge me and my wisdom.

My children paid for that.

There was so much to see, but I liked my white picket fences and so I was unwise.

It hurt to wake up.

I would like to say that I grew up and decided to do that.

Actually, it was forced on me.

Surprisingly, I am still a glass half full, "I think I can" person.

Sadly, I am less innocent, and it is easier for me to see more, feel more than I would like to.

Some days I just want to get up and paint the world the way I want it.

People keeping their promises, only speaking good things..

Children safe, making good decisions.

Friends really there when you need them.

Family functioning as a team.

God safe watching over us while a choir of angels serenade.

Conditioned Unconditional Love

2006-09-18T20:23:00.000-07:00

I love my dog.

If I had to choose a pet, it would be a dog.

If I had to make a second choice for a pet, I am fairly confident it would not be a cat.

I also think I would have a hard time being married to a cat person.

I do have several friends that are cat people.

I also have friends and relatives that can go either way or both.

At different points in their lives they have had both cats and dogs.

Some of them have had multiple combinations of cats, dogs and just to show off they have had chickens, roosters and bunnies. No, surprisingly, they were not living on a farm.

I visited today with a cat person friend of mine today about why cat people who truly are not dog people are attracted to cat relationships.

We speculated that cat people do not like the amount of work it takes to house train a dog.
The level of focus on poop, walking the animal so they can poop, rewarding the animal when they poop, way to much effort.

Cats are more independent, more easily trained and cat people like it that way.

They get a level of unconditional love,
under the condition the cat gets
food, water and shelter...
a level of gratitude and affection is returned.

Even though life would seem easier if I was a cat person,
I know in my heart I would be wanting more from my cat relationship
than any cat would be able to give.

I am not saying that cat people are more shallow than dog people.

Maybe dog people are just more needy, so we choose pets like us that are less independent.

Having a pet that expects us to be there for them at certain times each day, helps us find balance.

Although I do not want cats, I am thankful for the cat people in my life.

They are very low maintenance, fairly confident in how they look, light on their feet and not afraid of mice.

Do It Yourself

2006-09-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when it would have been rude to gas your own car?

You had to wait for the gas station attendant to take care of your re-fueling needs.

He (always a he) would also offer to check your fluids, your air in your tires and your windshield wipers.

He (who was sometimes as nice as Goober) would also clean your windshield for you.

Do you remember when a lady always had her groceries loaded into the car?

If you are over 40, you probably do.

You also remember the world has changed, mostly because of technology, but also out of an eye to the bottom line.

It is cheaper for most buisnesses if they can get you to do things yourself.

Well, the "Do It Yourself!" market has now moved over into a new industry.

The pizza market.

Papa Murphy's looks like an order out already to eat establishment, but they are actually
a "Take N Bake" establishment.

You order fresh and then take the food home and bake it.

Yep, we were tempted and in about 10 minutes we will find out if this pizza is worth the extra step and delay of immediate gradification.

I have gotta smile at American Ingenuity.....

Fresh homemade food to go....
.....to go home to...
.....to do it yourself

I woke up with

2006-09-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

Images, words, beginnings, endings, business plans, marketing concepts and a smile.
Yesterday morning, I woke up with the most fun series of creations.

The night before my huband and I went on an over the hills and through the woods drive
to see his father and grandmother.

During our drive my husband asked me, "What would you find it hard to live without?"

Actually, his first question was "What are you most passionate about?"

"Ummmm, I said?"

Then he came back with his second question, "What would you find it hard to live without?"

"Wow. Well I would definitely have a hard time going back to not believing there is a God and I would not want to be outside of his will. After that, we would have to take for granted we would not be in survival mode. We have a roof over our heads, food to eat and we are in good health."

"Of course. " He said.

"Well then, it is funny you just asked this question, because I was just thinking that I am very grateful that I am with someone who thinks young."

"Not only are you younger than me,
You still believe the best is yet to come.
You believe your best creations, your best opportunities....
....and your best memories have not been made yet."

"What I would not want to live without, would be hope."

"I love to plan, love to build.
I love to see the slab of a new building and imagining what will come next.
I love to hear anyone's new business plan and imagine with them where things will go."

"I would hate to live without hope. I would miss being part of a team that builds."

My husband is far more creative than I.
Our sons will achieve greatness for their abilities to see their unique dreams come into reality.
If anything prevented these things, I would be sad if they missed their time to shine.

If they are all OK, and we are not in survival mode, what makes me smile is building.

I went to sleep that night with hope.

I woke up that morning with plans. Part of me is excited. Part of me knows if I don't let myself get ahead too much...

If I take baby steps.....

Maybe, with help, I can build on this dream.

No matter what comes next, of this I am certain.

How powerful hope is.

Before You Asked Me To Save The World

2006-09-06T11:30:00.000-07:00

You Should Have Asked Me First If I Liked It The Way It Was!

This was a great line in xXx, staring Vin Diesel.

I love it not because I am an anarchist, extreme sports fanatic or really even attracted to Vin. My sweet husband is far better looking.

I love the line because it is a such a good window into how well we all prejudge others by ideals we set for ourselves.

Clearly, our understanding of the world had changed.

And yet we hope, even after tragedy.

We hope for heroes.
We want to believe that there are people born to save the world.

If it came down to it, would we act in courage?
Would we make a decision to give our very best even if it meant physical harm?

If we can not answer yes...
What then?

Do we continue to let others carry our weight?
Let their families suffer more than ours?

Five years after 9 11....
I hope it has made us as Americans more tender...
More understanding of the needs of others...
More patient when faced with adversity...

Maybe we can not all be heroes...
Maybe we can be just better citizens, taking care of those with less.

Maybe we can just start with more friendly waves to people who don't look like us.

Maybe we can remember a time before 9 11 when we had to pull together as a nation.

Maybe we can begin to live like comrades in arms no matter what the security level is that day...

No matter what news has us looking over our shoulders.

And maybe, some of will get a chance to find out which of our neighbors are heroes.

And maybe, we will want to be in the trenches with them.

Why are you staring at your clothes?

2006-08-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

Everyone should have a roommate as funny, cool and introspective as SJ.

We bonded for life in the 70's and early 80's as we helped each other move from Junior High Band Fags to a poor man's (nerd's) Charlie's Angel at Ohio State.

We survived a life threatening journey out into the blizzard of '78
as we bought essentials such as TP
and the more important items..
chocolate and Tab.

We created 357 different versions of "Stuff", a mercurial recipe
that consisted of all unconsumed food in our 2 ft fridge topped with cheese.

We attended classes, regularly....
as long as we could get home in time to see Mary Tyler Moore re-runs.
This is where we learned how to live as single women who had career aspirations.

We digested Johnson's and Johnson's as we learned all the things we were not bold enough to ask our own mothers.

It is amazing how well we were prepared for life just from these two resources alone.

I was her first Psychology Behavior Modification Project.

It was a blast playing the unsuspecting lab rat.
I had read her notes and did all I could to interfere with her projected results.

Imagine her thinking that compliments would get me to clean more often.

I don't remember getting homesick while living with SJ.

She was home.

She could take one look at me and know we needed to talk.

She loved to listen. Loved to ponder.

As you watch SJ when she goes to work on helping you, you get this funny image.

She has a little man in her head that sorts things into different paths.
He is dressed in a smart brown suit and he sits at a practical desk in a comfortable chair.
The little man loves to work through problems.
It is important to remember that logic must be applied or the little man becomes very beside himself.

In contrast, growing up, I was more the dreamer.

At Ohio State we lived in an old restored victorian.
Lot's of charm, not much space and very little heat.

My bed rested in front of our closet.

Our closet had no doors.

When things were a challenge for me, I could be found...
lost in thought, sitting on my bed,
facing the closet.

"Why are you staring at your clothes?" SJ would ask.

SJ and her little man would get to work trying to help me make sense of whatever was happening at that moment.

The truth is, I really did not look at the clothes.

I was looking past them.

.
As I think back to SJ, and her little man in her head looking for reason,
partnered with my constant inquisitive imagination...
I have to smile.

These days, SJ still has her little man, but she is also more creative and more beautiful than when we were 18.

She asked me the other day, " Why do you blog?, How often do you blog?,
Aren't you afraid of letting so many people know what you are thinking?"

I could only explain it in one way.

Blogging is like staring at your clothes and then letting people know what you see.

Like Red on a Rose

2006-08-26T12:23:00.000-07:00

To be able to love like red on a rose
So complete

That concept got me thinking about the different facets and powers of love.

Do you think you can love someone more than yourself?

I have watched many relationships flounder because the extent of the love between the two people was unequal.

One person simply loved the other more.

I have been there myself.

"Love Hurts" has made it as a hit once again as it sings to all those who were with me in that experience.

Should we stop the capacity to love someone more than they love us in return?

As a parent, I hope that is not possible.

Therefore, I would say it is best to let ourselves love.

Should we love ourselves as much as we love others?

It is very hard to partner with an insecure person.

True love of ourselves is wise as it enables us to maintain ourselves so that we can be there for others.

This does not answer the question, "Can we really love someone more than ourselves?"

We can envy them.

We can live through thier talents and get reflected glory from thier achievements.

I don't think that we can truly love anyone more than we love ourselves.

Not when you define love as it is defined in 1 Cor. 13.

If we loved ourselves as we are to under the definition in this beautiful manual on redemption,
we would have so much more power and control over our destinys.

To be able to Love Like Red on a Rose, we would have to understand how complete the promise is when we live like we value the blood on the cross.

Through my husband, my sons and through prayer, I have learned to love myself more.

I am so thankful for the pain that comes from staying open and staying vulnerable as it has allowed me the joy of letting so many more amazing people get close to me.

You may be wondering why such a deep look into love and pain.

Sadly, the reason is that Micheal and I lost a friend this week.

My favorite memory of her was a night spent dancing.

Her husband and she were a joy to watch as they celebrated spontaneous fun
dancing with us
surrounded by hundreds of sisters at a catholic convention.

I don't think I can put into words any better than Garth how I feel about her passing:

"Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance"

Watching hundreds of people come to pay their respects this week.

I can easily say:
"Pat, you were loved, like red on a rose.
What a stunning rose you were."

Life, Balance, Love and Stuff

2006-08-24T19:07:00.000-07:00

A couple of years ago my husband was the best man at a wedding.
The wedding was the first for the bride and the second for the groom.
In thier vows, the bride told her love that if she were a kite, he was the tail that gave her balance.
In truth, most kites are engineered to be limited in the distance they travel above the earth
if they do not have a tail to give them balance.
If you think of your goals in life as a kite, and think of your key relationships as source of balance,
you will see the wisdom in keeping people close to you that create drag in your life.
You need lift in your life to fly, but you also need drag to enable you to control your steering.
Being a drag, can be a good thing.
For when those people who help give you balance,
who have nothing to gain but the joy of watching you reach your goals,
watch over you,
slow you into wisdom,
you are better able to enjoy the journey safely.

Looking back over the last couple of years,
I can think of many people who have helped myself and my husband have balance.

It is impressive to see when two people are able to be equally there for one another.
Taking turns lifting, encouraging and offering wisdom.
Micheal and Joel are two good friends that are constant in thier expectations for greatness for themselves,
and they expect no less from each other.
I am thankful for thier frienship as they help one another become better men.

Tickled

2006-08-20T15:54:00.000-07:00

I am just tickled to be back home!
I am ok with quiet time and I am ok with being alone.
I am ok with time with family and friends and seeing new places.
But there is no place like home.

I missed my sweet husband, our sons our Annie.

I am also thankful for the time I had with family.
We have had too little time together over the last 20 years.
It is very hard for me to live so far away from my sibblings and my parents.
I envy families that had the wisdom to stay close enough to where you can drive to them when they need you.
I have not given up hope on getting closer to my sibblings the older I get.

My father is 76. He has battled back from many tough times.
We are all stronger because of his wisdom.
Watching him lead us through the aging process is a gift.
I look at life these days with new eyes.

I hear things differently than when I was younger, differently than before last year when we lost my husband's mom.
I miss her.
I had gotten used to the idea of having her in my life.
She was so sweet to me.

I hope that the older I am allowed to get, the more tickled I get.

I hope I will start some new hobbies.

I also hope I will become:
Less critical
More forgiving
More patient
More Encouraging

I hope that others will hear...
My laughter, mixed with my husband's, our son's, our families, our friends we have and new ones to come....
What Beautiful Music That Would Be

Wow- that hurt- but it was fun

2006-08-12T12:44:00.000-07:00

No I am not a sadist or into S and M.
I just needed to test myself today.
Do something unplanned, just cause.
First, got an edgy haircut.
Then started looking at myself.
You know, really looking.
Wow, I love the hair.
It was so edgy I had to talk my stylist into it.
After we got done, I told her...
"I think a piercing would look great with this"
After much discussion, we agreed I should call someone younger to be sure I did not get something that would be a signal for some alternative lifestyle.
OK...so the planner in me has to show up.
Called my youngest, got advice on what to go with.
He was totally bummed that I would not wait and go with him.
I told him I was being spontaneous and if I waited, that would blow the whole point of doing it.
Quincy Jones was quoted as saying that you can tell a person's age by how resistant to change they are.
Pretty cool. Acceptance of change seems easier to control than the effects of gravity and cell degeneration.
I keep his qoute in my mind as I left the salon.
So...off I go to get my piercing.
Scared, determined, smiling.
I had fun with the girl who did it.
Her name is Margaret and she has tremors. She assured me that her hand tremors would not affect the process.
I am fearless.
It was all over in a matter of seconds.
I am still smiling as I think about the next time I get spontaneus.
I think I will plan for this at least once a month.

I think it will keep me young

Dude

2006-08-03T07:12:00.000-07:00

I would never have believed that I would have become a person who loves reality TV...
I must confess...
I am watching way too much of a pretense of real life for others I should be using my time for more self-fulfilling and world changing events.
Another Blog.

I bring this up to share that I first heard a woman being called Dude on American Idol.

At first, I thought I must be hearing something that Randy alone used as a way to show praise or respect, but after the last couple weeks I have heard more young people using this.

I realize now I must be behind on how widespread this nickname is. I was a little surprised the first time I was called Dude.

Women being called dude. Let's face it, women don't get great nicknames anyway. Most nicknames for women are derogatory.

I am sure you can think of at least five nicknames that are not things you would like to be called. Men seem to get better nicknames, Champ for example is something that most people would think highly of if called.

At best, dudette would only have been fun if you were a cowgirl. I have some nicknames for some of my friends.

Chicky Baby is one that works if you have a friend with a fresh fun sassy attitude. Diva is one that would be ok for me if anyone wants to start working that into our conversations or the way you refer to me.

I think the funny thing about Dude is now it is unisexual. I wonder if Broke back Mountain had anything to do with this. Kinda makes you wonder about Dude Ranches in general.

Is there anything wrong with women feeling complimented because they have been awarded with or risen to the level of getting a male nickname? I guess not.

Might be cool for some creative female writers to get in touch with the Desperate Housewives producers or Grey's Anatomy produces and submit some positive fresh new positive nicknames for women.

It would be daring to go that route instead of playing to the negative, side of what women call each other.

Intimidation

2006-07-30T16:34:00.000-07:00

It is my first nature to be timid.
Or rather is was my first nature.
I asked for boldness 14 years ago when I believed that was what I needed to survive.
Be careful what you ask for.

Loved Captain Kirk growing up.

To boldly go...

I thought it would be a good idea to be unafraid to go to new levels, overcome new challenges and some old ones too.

I don't regret praying for boldness or even the reputation that came with it.

I guess that begs the question, what do I regret.

Asking for or wanting to become different out of fear.

Intimidation can move people in a new direction.

In small doses it can even save people from making mistakes.

Long term, intimidation works like a bed for unforgiveness fungus.

Eventually, it will make the person sick and that will lead to real illness or bad decisions.

If I were on the starship, I don't think I would want to be the Captain.

I believe I would prefer to be the ship's counselor.

There to help in stressful times, ready to listen and offer wisdom.

They really could have used some counseling during the "Trouble With Tribbles" which was one of my favorite episodes.

From Intimidation to warm and fuzzy.
Tribbles, those insatiable reproducing critters that at first glance seemed harmless but...
later we found out the ship's crew was in danger of having their food supply compromised.

Where is this blog leading....

Back home I guess..

My mother's best advice was "Bad people do not wear a dark cape and carry around a sign that says;
'Hi. I am a bad person.' "

It is important to stay clear of those who lead thier lives and try to lead yours mostly through intimidation....

Before you know it, you will become like them.

Better to stay close to those who lead through encouragement, passion and wisdom.

You will have better tales to tell.

Rice Puddin

2006-07-27T06:07:00.000-07:00

Last night my loving husband made me Rice Puddin.
I am still smiling...
Such a loving gesture.
He had no idea I had waited my whole life to have someone make Rice Puddin.
Just for me...
Just cause...
This wonderful man does so many things for me.
He notices the little things and constantly finds new ways to show me he loves me.
Growing up, Rice Puddin was a favorite treat.
It was something that was always made for special occasions.
My sweet husband did not understand what an encouragement it would be when he was making it the puddin for me.
It was a done on a whim.
It was just the right thing for me at a time I really needed it.
Rice Puddin, just for me, just cause...
I know it sounds silly...
But it encourgaged me to want to be a better woman, wife, lover, sister, friend.
It encouraged me to never give up on appreciating simple joys and taking the time to be a giver of them.
Such a sweet man my husband.
I am so very thankful.
I loved his Puddin and everything that came with it.
We talk about wanting to be a groovy old couple some day.

I can't imagine my life otherwise.

Prolific Visionary

2006-07-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

Being a Prolific Visionary...To be able to tap into visions that lead to creations that outlive you. Recreation.... To re create. To create again...

Are there any new creations here in the natural? Are all creations as we see them imitations of concepts with a genisus in the supernatural?

Are all revolutionary ideas there for our taking? Simple concepts, laced with timeless infrastuctures that lead to prosperity...

Do all we need to do to attain them is slow down...
Reach up
and there...
gently given ...
is the reflection of the original creation.

Is it that easy...

Are there really no money problems, but instead idea problems?

Is wisdom empowered by love the channel to re creation?

Far less important but also compelling are...

What did they do differently in the green M&Ms?

What if dandilions if eaten are nature's viagra?

So much to ponder...

Silly

2006-07-13T06:57:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder why we say what we say? "We are in a pickle" for example, or "I feel silly". If you are feeling silly while in a pickle you would then be pickledsilly. Silly is a rather silly word and one of those words that immediately evokes emotion.
You feel silly saying silly. It is hard to stay really mad when using the word silly. I decided to take a minute to find out where those silly people came up with silly. Here is what I found:

silly
adj sillier, silliest

1. Not sensible; foolish; trivial or frivolous.

Thesaurus: ridiculous, nonsensical, foolish, absurd, frivolous, stupid, preposterous, hare-brained, fatuous, puerile; Antonym: sensible, wise, mature.
2. Dazed; senseless.

Example: She laughed herself silly

Example: The blow knocked him silly
3. cricket.

In a fielding position very near the batsman.

Example: silly mid-on
noun

sillies
1. colloq

A foolish person.

Form: silly-billy (also)
Derivative: silliness
noun

Etymology: Anglo-Saxon sælig happy.

Interesting that the beginning of silly, the root word of all this came from the Anglo -Saxons, ummm some of those brit ancestors looking for other ways to say they were happy. Maybe it is all the rain and cloudiness in that part of the world that made people turn a happy word into one that also can mean foolish. Foolish to be happy...poor brits...such pessimists. Good thing we had our colonial thinking and got away from all that.

Ahh yes..the American spirit. When we are in a pickle, be happy, put on your favorite smily wear and get silly.

Was there a point to all this?

Not really..Don't Need One...Just feeling Silly

The Power Of Persistant Passion

2006-07-12T09:18:00.000-07:00

If you want to get anything done right, do it yourself. But...what if you can't. What if you need to be able to work through problems, brainstorm with and motivate people who work with you on projects. The human temptation is to think, they work for me so I should be able to get what I want. And yet, life does not work well that way. Even when people are paid to do a job, even when they think they are self-motivated, of good character and hard working, they somehow need your power of persistant passion to reach thier fullest potential.

This is not a revelation for most successful leaders. This may be a new concept for those who are not normally leading people and are finding themselves working with people in the home improvement industry for the first time.

Let me explain..Hail YES! We had damage this spring from two powerful storms. Knowing that getting all repairs needed done well in a timely manner would require an on-site motivator, I opted to work from home this week. I mentally geared myself into a patient but persistant mode. After only two days of working with multiple set backs, I can already feel myself tempted to lower my standards of what we can really get any more in quality of work.

Tempted, but not faint hearted enough to give in.

I have used a combination of compliments, food, lemonaide and water along with selectively blonde questions like:

"Do you think that the light coming in at the top of the door and the way it is sticking at the bottom may mean the door is not hung level?"

"Do you think that the writing on the storm door being upside down may be an indication that the door may actually work right if we put it in right side up?"

"Do you really wrestle gators?"

"I think it is good that you did not eat the shark you caught."

"By the way, did notice the front door lock area has some wood hanging out? Do you think that may be why the door will not close easily?"

"Wow, so you mean if you clean that out the lock will click tight?"

"Does anyone know which of the extra kids working here yesterday took the keys to the storm door?"

"Oh, excellent, that was the head guy, good thing he is nice enough to bring those on back."

Tonight I am told a professional "Storm Door" man is coming to take care of what the other gentlemen felt was too tough to get right.

Our contracter had at first suggested I try to find a professional. I could have bought into the thinking that if you want to get something done right, do it yourself.

I guess I am too stubborn to give up now. Still convinced that persisitant unrelenting passion will motivate this team to complete what they signed on for to a better than good level.

Realistically, great for this team, may be a stretch. Too many other people who got hit by the storm will settle for good. Good will pay this team more than great as they move on in a volume customer mentality.

Hail Yes! Not giving up yet.

It's not easy being green

2006-07-10T05:03:00.000-07:00

Monday morning...
Starting over,,,

New week, new opportuinites for discovery.

Staying coachable, staying green so you can keep growing...Being willing to change things that you have been living with for years...
Only listening to the voice that says you can change...

Forgiving yourself for not being stronger sooner.

Having enough pride in what your legacy is to know that without change, your time here will not be as fruitful.

Having fun through the process of change.

Being yourself even though yourself is mercurial.

Laughing at yourself as you fall, rolling with the energy of change.

Being silly..looking to the end of the vine, even when you find yourself in a pickle.

No...It is not easy being green, but great never is...

First Words

2006-07-09T19:59:00.000-07:00

Linguists will tell us that the reason it is easier for an infant to call his mother first rather than his father is that it is easier to learn to say words starting with M rather than D. Ministers will tell us that we are all born with a desire to seek out heaven, our eternal life, our supernatural father. Counselors will tell us that most women use more words in a day then men. We need our words. We need words from our friends, our lovers. Pediatritians will tell us that infants will die without human touch. Most marriages certainly fall to this.

As we become established as unique beings with destinys that can only be fully completed with unique decisions, we get to give our words, our time, our touch as the ultimate sign we care. Without this connection, we would be more distant, less energized, slowly dieing to our first nature. We have to come out of the shadows, the pretense that we are able to be truly happy alone or lonely. Two seperate concepts.

Such heavy stuff from a former optimist.

Somehow the first words, or the last words we say seem to stay with us. We want to get them at hello and leave them wanting more.

We are tempted then to hold back, giving the other person an intrigue, thus allowing us to draw on the human connection, securing away complete isolation.

A first blog, first words, a first attempt to expose, break down walls destined to protect the most tender creative elements within us....our first smiles.